My husband and I adopted two children in 2018. A little girl, then aged 2 ½ years, and a baby boy aged 7 months. Then in the winter of 2019 their birth sibling came to us via adoption – he was 7 months old when he moved in.

Adoption was our way of building a family. As a same-sex male couple it was always the path we wanted to take. Overall we really enjoyed the whole process. It became a journey of self-discovery for us both and I found the training educating and enlightening. It provided us with parenting prep that so many other people never get a chance to have. At times it was overwhelming, but it helped us both work out what we felt we could and couldn’t take on as adoptive parents.

Adoption has brought us so much joy and our world now revolves around our three amazing children. Parenting is hard, full stop and we’ve had our challenges like all parents of toddlers. We are very much aware that as our children get older there will be challenges relating to their adoption, their identity and how they work out who they are.

The unknown is the most difficult part of being a parent through adoption. You begin not knowing anything about the children you may adopt, then when it comes to being matched you begin to find out more and more. However, ultimately, even now we do not know what the future holds. But I take solace in the fact that every family has no idea what is around the corner and feel lucky we have the skills and support to try and tackle any challenges head on. After the surprise arrival of a younger sibling, we do question what may happen next in terms of the birth mother’s wellbeing and the potential of more children and how we would react. The prospect of another is very much at the front of our mind.

The best thing about family life is the fun we all have. There are ups and downs and the last year through lockdown has been hard but we are a happy and fun household. We love and laugh together daily and the smiles make everyone feel better even after arguments and stressful moments. 

I now co-host a podcast that celebrates LGBTQ+ parenting. We were the first of its kind to launch and my co-host Lotte and I went into it thinking we were going de-bunk all types of myths. However, the truth is I don’t think people consider LGBTQ+ parenting enough for there to be many myths! I think the biggest struggle we face is raising children in a truly heteronormative and conservative country. As a parent it’s about recognising it, challenging it and supporting the whole community. We are in it together!

Stu is co-host of the very first LGBTQ+ family podcast - Some Families. You can find out more and listen to the podcast here. 

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