Name: Kate

Instagram handle: @mother.nature.child

We’ve been parents since: 2015 (we fostered to adopt)

1. What’s the most special part of being a parent?

Seeing him change and grow in confidence. Watching him relax enough to be himself and learning to trust that we love him and will still be there whatever he does and however he behaves. 

 Also snuggling him up in a warm, cosy towel when he’s had a bath. It’s one of the moments when I always feel like a real Mumma.  

2. What’s the biggest myth about LGBT+ parenting?

 That children miss out by having same sex parents. There are many studies and research showing that children from same sex families ‘fare no worse’ than their peers with heterosexual parents.

So if you’re talking to friends or relatives who have these kind of concerns then take a look online as there’s loads of stats to back up what we all instinctively know. (And also maybe think about whether these are the kind of people who you’ll want in your immediate support network!).  

3. What do you wish you had been told at the start of your parenting journey?

 How important self care is and how much you will need an amazing support network. 

Parenting is tough (and wonderful). If I’m honest (and that seems like the most helpful thing for you), it’s the most tiring and hardest thing I’ve ever done. Being a parent to an adopted child who has suffered trauma means you’re parenting a child who will have additional needs. That’s sometimes exhausting. 

BUT, when you’re going through the process of getting through stage 1 and 2 and panels, never mind matching and intros, you’re just focused on ‘passing’. 

Then suddenly you have a child and you’re already tired from the months/years that have gone before. 

Establishing a great self care practice before you become a family would be amazing. But if, like us, you didn’t really think about that beforehand, then get one together pretty quickly. Something for you as an individual and as a couple. 

It’s the thing that will get you through the really tough days.

 So will your support network - people who will listen/not judge and also do more practical things - like babysit! There’s also a great community on Instagram where loads of friendly and supportive adoptive parents are happy to share advice and experiences. 

4.What’s the one thing you want your children to know?

 That he is loved, safe and very much wanted