Gemma and her husband live in Scotland with their adopted daughter, Isabelle, who is six.

I wish I could say that the day Isabelle got her diagnosis, that was the end of our struggle. But the big difference is that now we have support, from people who understand, who have the right experience and skills.

When our daughter came to us at eight months she was described as a ‘perfect baby’, with no family history of alcohol, or drug abuse.  But at two and a half, the violence began. She started headbutting, kicking and biting. We were covered in bruises. Aged three, Isabelle became obsessed with sharp knives. She told me she wanted to ‘cut me open and see me bleed’. She went through strange phases like retching when she saw the colour red or blinking really quickly and couldn’t seem to stop.  She had so much more energy than other kids and she stopped sleeping for more than a few hours a night. 

I’ve got a background of working with children with learning disabilities so I knew that something wasn’t right. Some of our daughter’s behaviours looked like Autism, some like ADHD but they didn’t really fit neatly into any of those boxes. 

We took her to countless GPs, health visitors and social workers. Professionals and friends made lots of suggestions: it’s a phase she’ll grow out of; she’s just a strong-willed kid who needs really firm boundaries; maybe you should go on a parenting course…

Eventually I was put in contact with the FASD Hub who identified Isabelle’s behaviour as having all the hallmarks of FASD. This led to a specialist paediatrician diagnosing Isabelle with FASD, within 20 minutes. The relief was overwhelming. The diagnosis has been the key to us understanding Isabelle’s behaviour, how to parent our daughter and how to advocate for her. 

Isabelle has so many amazing qualities - she’s determined, clever, sociable, athletic and funny and we feel so proud and privileged to be her parents.  Now that we have the correct diagnosis we’re starting to help her understand how her brain works and support her to channel her determination in a positive way.  We take each day as it comes, but life is now much more enjoyable and we’re feeling positive about the future.

Gemma now works at the FASD Hub.

Return to the 50 Faces page