I have a query about becoming an adoptive parent – who should I contact? Expand Adoption UK provides information and guidance at all stages of the adoption process. We believe that peer support and the exchange of knowledge and experiences between adoptive parents is a crucial part of adoption support. Adoption UK's helpline staff are trained to offer advice and give information. If you would like to speak to one of our helpline advisors please call England - 07904 793974 & 07539 733079 (Tuesday and Fridays 10.30am - 2pm, term time only) Wales - 02920 230319 (Monday - Friday, 10am - 2.30pm) Scotland - 0131 201 2488 (Monday - Friday, 10am - 2.30pm) Northern Ireland - 028 9077 5211 (Monday - Thursday, 10am - 4pm and Fridays, 10am - 2.30pm) There is also another organisation which has been set up by the Department for Education called First4Adoption. It provides an information line and can help you find out about the process of adopting in England (not Wales and Northern Ireland). Email: www.first4adoption.org.uk Tel: 0300 222 0022.
Why adopt? Expand People choose to adopt for many different reasons. Some arrive at adoption following experiences of infertility and for some, adoption is their first choice for starting or extending their family. For prospective adopters and the children waiting for new families, adoption transforms lives. Each year in England alone there are around 4,000 children waiting in foster care, unable to live with their birth families. Many are older children, sibling groups who need to be placed together or children with disabilities. These children have had unsettled starts in life and all will have experienced some form of loss by being taken into care. Many will have also sadly experienced abuse and/or neglect. Adopted children's early experiences mean they can often struggle with relationships and day-to-day life. Although this can present certain challenges, being an adoptive parent is also hugely rewarding and provides the stable, understanding and loving homes these children need. Due to the numbers of children waiting, more adopters are greatly needed. And as the children come from all types of backgrounds, adoptive parents from all backgrounds are required, too. If you would like to transform a child's life and feel adoption could be for you, please visit www.first4adoption.org.uk for further information. If you're not sure, why not take a look at our online Forums where you can ask a community of other prospective adopters and adoptive parents any questions you might have. Adoption UK can then be there to provide all the support you need, for all stages of your adoption journey.
Finding a child? Expand Once approved to adopt, prospective adopters enter the matching stage of the adoption process. Prospective adopters and social workers liaise to identify possible matches and tools such as the National Adoption Register and Children Who Wait work to speed up the process. Children waiting for adoption in the UK Adoption has changed. Today, very few babies are 'given up' for adoption in the UK. Instead, each year in England alone, there are around 4,000 children waiting in foster care, unable to live with their birth families. The majority are older children, sibling groups who need to be placed together or children with disabilities. These children come from a wide range of ethnic and cultural backgrounds. Children waiting for adoption have had unsettled starts in life and all will have experienced some form of loss by being taken into care. Many have also sadly experienced abuse and/or neglect. Adoption transforms their lives. Matching adopters with a child Once approved to adopt, prospective adopters enter the matching stage of the adoption process. The exact length and detail of this stage can vary from adopter to adopter. Prospective adopters' social workers liaise with children's social workers to identify possible matches. They take care to consider the needs of the child(ren) with what the type of family and care prospective adopters can provide. Sometimes they have a child for adopters in mind early on and sometimes social workers need to look to others areas of the UK for a match. The Adoption Register There are adoption registers for England and Scotland. They record the details of approved prospective adopters and children waiting for adoption. Social workers representing approved adopters as well as those representing children looking for families can search the register and it works to reduce delays in the matching process. Prospective adopters are placed on the register within three months of approval (if they have not already been matched in that time). Once a possible match has been found, prospective adopters are given further information and can discuss with their social worker whether they feel they can provide the family and type of care the child(ren) needs. Prospective adopters can then decide whether to proceed to matching panel, where an independent panel will formally decide on the match. Once a panel has approved the match, introductions can commence. Find out more about the adoption process on the First4Adoption website. Children Who Wait Family-finding services, like our Children Who Wait can also assist the matching process. Available as a secure, online tool and a wide-reaching printed publication, the service features profiles of children waiting for adoption including information on the children's backgrounds and needs as well as photographs and, in some cases, online video content. Prospective adopters and social workers can access Children Who Wait by joining Adoption UK and the service enables them to contact the child(ren)'s social work directly for further information. Adopting a child from another country The information above relates to adopting children from the UK. If you are interested in adopting a child from another country, information on inter-country adoption can be found from: Department for Education Intercountry Adoption Centre International Adoption Guide Back to the top
A different kind of parenting Expand Adopted children’s early experiences mean they can often struggle with relationships and day-to-day life. Instead of traditional parenting techniques, adopted children require a style of parenting which is more sensitive to their needs and helps them overcome these difficulties. Although this can present certain challenges, being an adoptive parent is hugely rewarding and provides the stable, understanding and loving homes these children need. A difficult start to life During our early years, we rely on our parents to meet our physical and emotional needs. How these needs are met impacts on how we grow up, our sense of self and our understanding of the world around us. Well-cared-for children will grow up feeling comfortable, safe, valued and loved - to use the analogy of a ‘wall’ made of development-need ‘bricks’, their walls would be well built and strong. But adopted children’s early needs have often gone unmet and all have experienced some form of loss or trauma. Many have suffered abuse or neglect, all have been separated from their birth families and all have spent time in the care system. Many will have grown up feeling unsafe, uncared for and alone – their ‘walls’ will be incomplete and fragile. Find out more about The Wall.The Wall is a graphic illustration of how unmet physical and emotional needs early in life affect children’s later development, requiring different parenting techniques and support for adoptive parents. Filling in the gaps and healing the trauma Adopted children’s early experiences often cause deep-set confusion, fear and anger and so they can struggle with relationships and day-to-day life. This can lead to behaviour which is, initially, difficult to understand. Love alone can not always heal the hurt. Traditional parenting techniques are often unsuitable for adopted children - imagine how frightening ‘time out’ would be for a child who had experienced neglect. Adoptive parenting works to restore unmet development needs and heal trauma. Adopted children need love, understanding and patience to help them overcome their difficulties and go on to lead confident, happy lives –something often referred to as ‘therapeutic parenting’. Transforming lives Although adoptive parenting can present unique challenges at times, it is hugely rewarding and transforms the lives, and futures of our most vulnerable children. Back to the top
Where to go to find information and support? Expand The adoption journey can be a complex one so it is vital to know where to go to find information and support. Whatever your stage in the adoption process, this booklet signposts some key resources and useful organisations that can help you develop your knowledge of adoption issues. Click the image to download your guide to recommended reading: