October half term is in sight, and I am just coming up for air. The summer holiday feels like a distant memory and the gallop towards Christmas has started.

It should have been an easy September. It’s the first time all three of my children have been returning to the same educational setting. In reality though, they all have new teachers, classrooms and teaching assistants and are experiencing high levels of stress at this change. Adopted children often struggle with attachment and so start of term nerves can be really profound.

I scan the pick-up queue at the end of each day looking for signs as to how well my children’s new teachers understands their needs.

Last term, I was reassured that the teachers were all 'trauma informed'. But trauma can’t be explained in a quick one-hour inset. It’s complicated, unpredictable, contrary and very messy. My eldest daughter has shown clear attachment seeking behaviour this half term, pushing ahead to the front of the queue to ensure she is with the teacher. She needs constant reassurance that she is not being overlooked, not being left out. If she feels ignored, she will push herself forward. It’s her superpower. Her survival once depended on it.

Last week, her new 'trauma informed' teacher, reminded her loudly, in front of her peers and the other parents that she needed to stay in the queue. That she shouldn’t push in. That it wasn’t kind.

I found myself bristling. Upset for my little girl who curled into herself and took her frustrations out on us, her safe space, when we got home.  Deep breath in and shoulders down. I have another busy year ahead of me explaining my daughter's trauma to another professional who thinks they understand it but have missed the mark.

Meaningful, effective, trauma training should be mandatory for every staff member in every school. It should carry the same importance as safeguarding training. For my children, understanding their trauma is safeguarding.  

Written by Lucy Watson