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wills and guardianship arrangements

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We are having to remake our will as unfortunately the guardianship arrangements we made when we adopted Galaxy, our younger AD, are no longer suitable. The relative we have approached as a possible guardian for Twirl has indicated they would want to remain involved with her life but would not want her to live with them full time. She is a very very challenging young teen so I can completely understand that decision even if I don't like it! Sadly, there is absolutely no-one else in our circle who would be capable of taking her on, not without devastating effects on their own children, as we know from experience. My question is, what are our options at this point? Is it possible to set up some kind of 'hands-off' guardianship / trusteeship, where presumably she went back into care, but relatives were able to still see her and be responsible for her inheritance etc. Can you do that in a will? What have other people done? I am not sure I would ever want her to have full control of her money, so that aspect of things could run for years. I am emotionally struggling with this, not least the impact on Twirl if she ever finds out that no-one in the family can have her, but need to come up with some kind of workable arrangement and would appreciate suggestions, especially from people who may have already walked this path, or have legal knowledge. Thanks.


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No legal expertise but my eldest has aspergers and will need some support esp around finances as he doesnt understand numbers etc. He will need someone to support with every day things like paying bills etc so we have appointed his sister and aunt as guardian and put his money in trust. That way he cannot spend large sums without the trustees agreement and hopefully that will stop him being preyed on and ripped off which has already happened once !

We now need to update will as youngest birth child turns 18 soon and we have a young child with complex needs.(recently adopted ) We are going to make his sisters his guardians to oversee his care but not to take on the full time care of him . They will make decisions on his care and visit etc and hopefully see that he is cared for properly after we have gone.

Something similar could work well for you i think as long as you can trust the gaurdians you choose and if i were you i would appoint more than one .


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We got together with friends who are also adopters of two. And made a joint agreement that if anything happened to one of the couples, the other would step in. But informally the plan would be for him to board at school during term time (we are richer dead than alive ! ) We know he would prefer that to living full time with his" cousins" and we know they would never cope with him full time ! Our son knows that if it became necessary, they would look after his needs , which adds to his security, and he would prefer to not be there full time anyway. We are lucky because his school has boarders, but even if it meant a school move he would prefer that to going back into care.

Obviously that option depends on individual circumstances and on whether you think she would be happier doing that rather than going back into care, but maybe if they knew it was only holidays they had to deal with , someone in the family might feel they could handle the situation.

Hope you find something that works for you.

Best Wishes

Pingu


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Hello chocoholic


I posted about this just under a year ago. It is under 'discussions' and I have bumped it up for you.


Lily x


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I wont repeat what is on my reply to Lily's thread but we are so lucky to have (relatively) sensible grown up birth sons who have a good grip on adoption issues. I think we feel very confident that between them they'd step up to the plate if they had to. The older 2 also have particularly good relationships with AS as they are so much older than him (16y & 12y)


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The solicitors who write in the AUK magazine might be able to help - Ridley & Hall.


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Thanks everyone for your comments, and especially to Lily for bumping up the other thread. After reading both threads, several of you have obviously been able to come up with financial arrangements which suited your particular situation, so that was helpful in helping us start to think what it might look like for us. With respect to birth children helping out - we also have two older birth children, both just about adults now, and the older one qualifies as (relatively) sensible (a la Midge!), but my DH and I both feel that their lives have already been heavily shaped by the needs of their little sisters, and we don't want their futures derailed by having to take full responsibility for those needs if we weren't around. I would actually want to protect them from that. I was intrigued by Pingu's boarding school idea - still interested in anyone else's ideas for arrangements for a minor who can't live in a family, but whose wider family still want a say in their care without taking residential responsibility.. Thanks everyone, very helpful


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