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Sunday Bloody Sunday

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Why do extreme events always happen on Sundays when no one is available


Yes joy of joys....


Partridges birth family decided to do their own Devina long lost families special, trauma style, and arrived 500miles away from their home to ours! I won't go into how they found us but it involved following mr pt and when we didn't answer the door hiding round the Corner to approach my dad when he was dropping young pip home.

Thankfully mr pt has been doing his street pastors training and he was able to politely and firmly tell them to leave. That Partridge doesn't want to see them or be involved.

They did lots of banging the door and waited outside for some time. When they realised partridge didn't live with us they left. Dad was really good at calmly saying they need to leave.

I was ever so distressed.

Police involved. Pips school informed.

SS informed who said we did great and they don't need to do anything (!)


I never dreamed all those years ago I'd be getting hassle from birth family wanting access to my son aged 22!

Adoption, the gift that goes right on giving.....


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Pear Tree, that is awful! No wonder you are in a state of shock! What do the police advise and what action have they taken with the birth family? Perhaps it's just as well that Partridge doesn't live with you.


Lily x


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(((((((((((Pear Tree)))))))))


Johanna x


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Love, ((hugs)) and prayers xx


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Sorry to hear you had such a horrible experience x


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Sorry to hear you had such an awful experience not least for Pip and your dad - sounds like he did a brilliant job at de escalating things fortunately. Do you know why they have chosen to land up now especially when Partridge is no longer with you? Hopefully now they will leave you in peace!

Mx


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Huge Hugs PT (((((((Pear Tree)))))))


Love Larsti xx


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Huge Hugs PT (((((((Pear Tree)))))))


Love Larsti xx


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Oh my goodness Pear Tree. What a horrible experience. Well done all for coping so calmly (& def not well done to bloomin' SS)

Big big hugs & soothing cup of tea (or something stronger!)

xxxx


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I was going to try and not say anything to partridge for a while. It will only make him feel wobbly and he's been relatively stable for a good chunk of time (partridge type stable but stable nevertheless)

I didn't want to upset that stability or cause him to wobble

But

The police have split the case and made it about safeguarding a young vulnerable adult (that Aspergers dx is still handy sometimes)

They've looked at the birth family actions and are looking to charge members with harassment.

I have requested victim support as I have felt ever so shaken up

It's so very odd to come out of the blue like this.

They didn't even do letterbox, nothing.

Partridge thinks blossom is somehow involved with pulling strings but I am not so sure. Will let the police do their digging about and see where it ends up.

We've had a lot of caring support from potato group.

Just you think you're through all that heart in the mouth being careful ( in case birth family see you sons picture in the paper making a rocket out of 3 bin liners 6 copier boxes, tin foil and Gaffa tape grinning like a Cheshire Cat) and WHAM out of nothing comes all the adoption security sh*t in a massive dump!


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The police have been to visit partridge and talked through keeping safe himself, what if they turn up and are looking for him when he goes to the match etc

7/10 for the police 1/10 to social care who clearly don't care at all


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((((())))) like the saying...adoption the gift that keeps giving. Stay safe, WE are here for you. xx


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Glad to hear you are getting some support albeit not from where you should have. Managing contact fall out once they are post 18 can be fraught with difficulties that were never envisaged or talked about. It is all the more challenging when the pot can be stirred up from afar to try and destabilise things and it is hard to get to the nub of things - hopefully the police can try and make sense of what has happened and ensure your future safety and peace of mind as much as is possible. My dd poked the hornets nest here and made out it was her brother's fault before retreating behind us - turned out it was a mix of things as has been the case as they all (adult sibs with bm/bm and our two) project their stuff on to each other - unfortunately even with them both of ours out of the house now - some of it still lands on our doorstep and like you I never counted on that all these years later!

Gentle hugs


Mx


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Well, ss have upped their points and post adoption are going to use their links with the bf's local authority to check out on going gang concerns

One thing they did say is the way things work round there, a 'split' in the birth family can be a very big cut off because it often involves gangs, turf for dealing plus you've got those out of prison- some go back into society better than others and cut all ties that way

Felt a bit more secure

Also they've checked through that I've told our important contacts and partridge has been spoken to by police without frightening him too much

Encouragingly they were really pleased at how well partridge is doing in general, apart from dodgy gf and the lying.

Felt we have done our best and hopefully it will be ok

Basically they obviously hadn't got much of a plan and they drove hundreds of miles and got nothing apart from a police harassment charge. Hopefully they'll leave it there


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((((Pear Tree, Pip, Mr PT & Partridge))))


My goodness! The strength you have to dig deep to find.


I hope that you have strong reassurance from the police that they will ensure your family don't get more of this scary nonsense! And supportive people to talk to, to work through your understable shock.


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I am sorry to hear this, but was reassured by the action of the police and glad that SS have finally realised they have a duty to you. I do hope the BF decide it's not worth the trouble to hassle you or your family, but what a horrible scary experience - I just can't imagine how I would have coped with it - well done for having the strength ((((Pear Tree family)))) from us.


When our kids were placed to adopt, our SW felt that she was being stalked sometimes, and was pretty sure it was our kids family. That completely gave me the shivers, and I kept our kids as private as I could. I have slackened up a bit after heading for seven years, but your tale, as you say, is one that reminds me that the past may come back at any point. Hxxx


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It's a week since the incident and the police have been in regular contact and are pushing the harassment thing

I've felt pretty shaky today. Couldn't sit through church and instead took the dog out, hoping the jittery feeling will pass.


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Hope you are feeling better today PT xx


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any chance you could have some sessions with your high level psychotherapist? It sounds like you are re traumatised by all this - so awful for you


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