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Hi all,

I,m on here lots so apogees' but always have

Questions. I a single person looking into adoption not 100% on age yet I currently work full time with my local LA don't earn huge amount 22,000 came off stage one as I want to get house,money bit more sorted so I can have mine I'm savings over page mortgage etc.

I don't have huge network but when near to be placed with child I drop my hours go part time hopefully by then have better paid job working on that one now.

Where I live there lots free parks,holiday clubs not free play centered library that I will be going to with my child

The only thing I wore about is how would I cope if child was ill and I was at work I can get parental leave 3 days and take A/L so guess that's ok but also wondered about 6 weeks holidays can't have 6 weeks off work seen some people have childminders is this good thing for adopted child or holiday club for few days? My mum very fit well apart from slight artitis in hip would have child currently looks after my 2 year old nethew.

Depending on age child could I have day at nursery? . I.worry this will hold me back as single person any advice will be great thanks


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Be aware that if you are thinking about a school age child its actually 13 weeks school holidays plus 5 teacher training days you have to cover, not just the 6 weeks in the summer.


Childcare very much depends on the child. I'm lucky my son loves holiday clubs and scouts! I also have a higher than usual holiday entitlement of 6 weeks because of length of service in job.

My son usually spends one half term with grandparents. Working part time means that at Easter and May half term which have bank holidays, I can be a home for a week without taking a full week's leave. Second week at easter and the other half term are scout camps.

In the summer, I manage to wrangle three weeks off, the other three are scout camp and sports clubs. Christmas is difficult because holiday clubs dont usually run and its two weeks to cover.


Honestly I would be really stuck without scouts and if he wouldnt do holiday clubs. Even so its a big juggling exercise, maximising bank holidays and a few days unpaid leave.

If your child is ill then you will have to take annual leave to cover it.

My son was 7 when he arrived so I've no idea how nurseries/childminders work but there is nothing wrong with them for childcare if the child gets on with it - and not all children do.


Its not easy!


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Hello, I'm a single, working adopter. It can be really hard financially but it's great that you are thinking it all through.


I didn't have a huge network, and frankly the people that I expected to help didn't - but others did and I made new contacts (and friends) who have been really supportive. The holidays are difficult and very expensive in terms of childcare (particularly as AD terrible sensory processing difficulties which rules out the cheaper, crowded options). As a result our holidays away are always camping ones in the UK, but AD loves them. It is possible to have plenty of fun times with very little money.


Perhaps add in to the things to do before adoption, a really lovely grown up holiday for you!


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Clr1 what age did your child come to u? Did u have savings in place how do u know juggle work with your child? Thanks


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Clr1 what age did your child come to u? Did u have savings in place how do u know juggle work with your child? Thanks


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AD was just 6 when she arrived, and spent much of the next 3 years in a state of total deregulation. It was really difficult. I took 10 months off as adoption leave and then returned to work part time: just under 4 days a week which meant that I needed term-time after-school care 3 days a week. For the first 18 months, this took the form of an experienced after-school nanny who picked her up from school and looked after her until I returned from work. It was horribly expensive, but AD wasn't able immediately to cope with an after-school club. However, that did change.


Just as Serrakunda describes, working 4 days a week (which I still do) does mean that with bank holidays, I can usually muddle through Easter and Christmas without taking huge amounts of leave. Summer is the big challenge. I found a very understanding, family-run after-school club that was almost wholly outdoor-based, and which also provided holiday day care. It was difficult at times as AD regularly behaved terribly towards the other children, and we did discuss whether funding might need to found for a dedicated play worker to support her. It didn't prove necessary, but I think that they only persisted with AD because the family were committed christians and determined not to give up.


Move forward 6.5 years, and AD is at a specialist senior school. She manages holiday clubs much better now, but they do need to be primarily outdoor or sports based. She has just joined the scouts which I hope is going to provide some great holiday options for her.


In terms of finances, I did have savings for when AD arrived (no longer....), and I am fortunate in having a reasonably well-paid job with a very understanding manager.


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My situation is similar to the above. DD was 8 when she came. I took six months off and returned to work four days a week. I put her in both breakfast club and after-school club, and was lucky that she managed those and I managed to work.

When she started at secondary school she started to struggle more with everything, and I found myself being called into school a lot, having to collect her at the end of the school day because she couldn't manage the bus on her own, and just generally juggling a lot more. Living in outer London and working in the middle, I was a long way from school when I was at work, and I was very, very lucky that I managed to arrange to do a lot of working from home. For a year I worked almost entirely from home.

Which is all very well, but I still couldn't have DD there, as she couldn't handle not being the centre of my attention, so I still had to find solutions for her. She has managed holiday club for the most part, though in the summer I had to find three different clubs for a week each, because if she got too comfortable in one she would start to struggle with her behaviour. Unlike Serrakunda's son, she has not managed scouts or anything like that.

She is now about to turn 14, which is too old for the main holiday club we use, but she still can't manage to be at home on her own, or while I'm working at home. So this year for the first time I have turned to residential holiday clubs. PGL is what I've used so far -- Monday to Friday costs about £500! And I spend my whole time worrying that they're going to phone and tell me they can't manage her and tell me to pick her up, although that hasn't happened yet.

So anyway, don't expect that it will get cheaper as they get older. In my case it has definitely got more expensive. But there are solutions. And there are even a few sources of funding, if you can be creative. Still, I will be glad if/when she matures a bit and can be at home on her own.


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Another single, working adopter here: as above, I work 3 days pw, spread over 5, so, school hours, which is perfect. I can safely say that I am absolutely dreading it when I have to go full-time in maybe a year or two: on the odd day I've worked longer, collecting LO around 5.45pm, home, tea on, homework (which takes a while as she has additional needs), bath & bed. I suppose in a couple of years, it will be a bit less tight for time as LO won't need to go to bed as early. Just making the most of our after-school time together whilst I can.


In a few weeks, I will have only been back at work for 2 months. After the first week, LO got chicken pox so couldn't even use my support network as no-one wants shingles. Took her into work the first day it happened (no choice) and left it with them how to deal with it: I suggested working from home remotely for 2 weeks; thankfully the person I was taken over was still there so she covered the client-facing work. I was incredibly lucky at their approach (new employer!!) In a couple of weeks, LO is going to have an operation needing yet another 2 weeks off school: I am using some annual leave for most of the first week and family member/friend will have LO the rest; work have said I can take LO in for the final day where I'm struggling for cover (they think she's such a trooper and amazing!! and I know from having to work at home last month / having to deal with lengthy Client telephone appointments, LO was incredibly patient/good so, she'll b fine) - although during that 2 week recuperation period off school alone, (subject to her feeling well enough) LO has 2 SaLT appts, 1 ophthalmology appt and I have yet another school TAF mtg. Thankfully, I now work school hours so I can take her / don't need time off work and LO has me for each afternoon after work.


School holidays: as Serrakunda says, I'm lucky that my LO loves the holiday club that she went to for the first time at Easter. You asked re childminder v holiday clubs: it depends on your child and what he/she can cope with when the time comes: I personally did not want LO to be with a childminder; didn't want any other primary attachment figures. LO went to nursery for a few sessions and only today she mentioned how great it was (during my AL and she wasn't school age) when we had all that time together. Only tried a holiday club for the first time a year post-placement (I didn't want to leave her but it was my first week at work): she was a bit clingy but it's the same venue as swimming so she felt comfortable with it. (After a week, she announced she didn't want to go to school again, just holiday club!! they have a lot of fun and huge variety and it's dirt cheap, which is so helpful).


Again, on the odd occasions I have to work in the afternoon, she goes to ASC. I prep'd LO since starting school in September by putting her in after school club a couple of times a week (lest I couldn't get part-time work); so she's always known that routine for the odd occasion I have to work. Went on a course the other day, quite a distance, so the ASC worker actually took her to the Rainbows which she runs also, which works well.


Apart from regular support network (no parents but family & friends), being off an AL for a lot of the first school year meant building connections with some of the mums, nattering at the school gate etc. It means that in emergencies, I can and have called on my neighbour or any of 3 school mums to collect LO and as good friends with 2 of the kids, playdates etc LO copes well, especially when one is her future husband!!) I would of course reciprocate, which is just another playdate for LO.


I remember being so incredibly worried before/during and after your stage as to how juggling work/school holidays would work out but it's all gone really well so far. Careful matching is so important. I suppose my next worry as a single parent is how to deal with when LO is too old for clubs / starts high school if I have to work full-time by then, which is likely - but seeing as how LO is only 5, I am just enjoying the here and now.


The other thing to remember is any appointments, as someone has mentioned above: my LO has a lot of appointments with different medical professionals and regular TAF meetings, further meetings to review the EHC, etc etc. School are very accommodating in all fairness and try to arrange things before the end of the school day (or after the school day) so as I finish at 2pm, that's do-able. I had to ask SaLT to cancel sessions at 9.30am, mainly because LO would have missed about 2.5 hours of schooling per session. Again, got those for 3pm so LO only misses 20/30mins which is much better.


You then have to consider school events: Christmas plays, phonics/learning mornings, Mother's Day lunch at school (if they do them), sports day, etc. They're things you'll want to be a part of but as you're looking at part-time, that sounds like you'll have most of all these things covered. I've been building up some time to use in lieu in readiness for these (was so much easier/relaxed when on adoption leave!)


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Thank u everyone have loads to weigh up x


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I admire you all for managing to work! I simply have not managed to sustain it - ironically it has got harder and harder with time not easier as school were far more forgiving of a lively active four year old liberal with her fists than they (or other people) are of a moody, angry teen with no respect for adult authority and little empathy for her peers!


All I would say is that it is possible to live on benefits - child tax credits, DLA, carers allowance, child benefit ... if you are careful and frugal. So if your child has lots of issues then you can still make it work - if you are prepared to cut back - and for your child to not have the latest technology and trends.


We live in a tiny house, very little technology (friend bought me this computer!!), we have a summer holiday each year that is funded by my parents and the rest of the time have budget trips cycling and camping etc ... but my daughter seems to have no envy whatsoever for her peers lifestyles and always says she prefers me at home. I do think a lot of adopted children particularly have quite a non materialistic view of the world - at least in my experience so far.


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Thanks everyone's comments really helpfull on my journey was thinking about doing respite care on weekends,holidays as my job support me maybye fostering might be better for me really unsure either way heather hear there as need to get self sorted before I look into it again


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