Single gay man starting out in adoption

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I have been toying with the thought of adoption over the last year and have looked at the other options of having children (surrogacy) but have gone full circle and come back to adoption and decided that it is the right thing for me.

I have had my LA Guide to Adoption sent to me and have met with a social worker to explain the process in more detail and I will be attending my first information evening in August.

At this stage in the process, the very beginning can you over do the reading and researching? Is there a network out there for gay single dads?

I have only told two people about my decision to adopt - my mum and my employer. Should I restrict the number of people knowing about it to the above mentioned or shall I share it with other friends or family members?

Thank you for all your support in advance

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Welcome to this fabulous (but also challenging) journey! It sounds like you've been considering things for a long time. Can't help with the question re support groups im afraid but im sure others can! In respect of telling people- I only told very close family and friends when in stage 1 and then became more open as things became more certain. The BIG drawback of telling people is that you are constantly being asked what's happening. Natural of course! But when you can barely think of anything else, or you are having a bad day it can add stress. Id keep it to very close people until you progress further down the line but obvs your choice! I think all reading and research is helpful. It is wise to leave space in your head for normal things or it can become all consuming. As a single person myself, the most helpful thing for me to consider was the practical stuff- can I afford to have time off, can I go back 3 days per week, have I got a good support network? These questions Are explored in stage one so my advice would be research these sort of things so that you are fully aware of your ability to meet a child's needs! Best of luck x

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Thank you Maggiemoo123 for your advice x

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Regarding support groups, try New Family Social, it isn't specifically for single gay dads but is for the wider LGBT community of adopters and foster carers. There are a number of single gay adopters as members though!

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Thank you Paulo

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Hi I am a single gay male aged 35 and I was approved recently and am awaiting a match ( extending to other areas next week). I have attended many courses and events but yet to meet anyone in a similar position. I have great support around me I am really looking forward to this next stage. this is my first time on the forum and I can see it will be of benefit to me Smile

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I am a brand new daddy of just over two months and a single gay adopter too!

If you would like to chat, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Got my first school run tomorrow - yikes!

Take care

Beach hut

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Be nice = first time post Smile

Just wanted to say another single gay dad here in the North East.

I first contacted my agency in Oct last year, did all of the training and went to panel in April where I was approved and have already been matched - its been very quick! I could have had some matches earlier, but, didnt feel they were right.

So, point of my post? It will happen, it does happen, take time and enjoy the process and dont panic if it doesnt happen 'now!'.


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