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Hello all

I have been away from the boards for a few years and life has been chugging along with meltdowns and ok bits and secondary school, EHCP etc.. It has had its ups and downs but we are ok. As our daughter gets older I worry more. She has no idea of how she is perceived by others and I try my best to encourage her to, for example, wash her hair properly, shave her armpits, put on deodorant, brush her teeth properly, remind her to change her pad when she has her period etc.. I am very aware that I do not want to create a child that cares about nothing else but her appearance but hygiene and general self- care can be a challenge. Poor wee mite now has braces and is very spotty which doesn't help - but they don't really matter. She is 12 but has mild learning difficulties, APD, ADHD, low IQ........

Do any of you have any advice or do you think it may come later and I should keep on trying to encourage her?


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Still working on this to an extent with one of mine and she's 17 now! She's washing her hair as I type, as she's realised she doesn't want to go out looking awful with greasy hair - this is noteworthy as it has often not happened before.


Never had problems re periods but otherwise, yes, have had to remind her to bathe, change clothes etc. I think it was part laziness (demand avoidance to be more polite), part low self esteem and part just lack of knowledge of what is considered acceptable by other teens. Her ability to socialise has improved in the past 18 months or so, and with it, a growing awareness of what other teenage girls do in terms of looking after themselves.


So yes, keep going! Perhaps a ticklist / chart might help?


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Thank you so much for your reply. I will keep on going and I reckon your idea of a tick list is worth a try! Thanks again. S


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Our daughter is younger but has many difficulties including demand avoidance and organising herself. She responded well to a laminated list of 'jobs' to do in a morning such as clean teeth, put on clean underwear etc. I gave her a dry wipe pen and she ticked off things as she did them. She can't cope with me constantly nagging her and placing pressure on her to do simple tasks. It's worth trying it for sure.


A xx


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Keep encouraging her but also get her in to see the GP and if necessary referred to dermatology specialists. There are a number of different treatments for acne now and no one should suffer like many did in times past.

My sons lack of hygiene has long been an issue but we’ve plugged away at it and now at 22 he will at least shower and have a hair trim. Deodorant & general cleanliness- hm iffy! But there are some improvements for sure


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