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School unable to meet sons needs

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Had a meeting with sons school today. He is in year 10 and now saying they are unable to meet his learning needs and behaviour. We chose ths school as he had a place in their ARC but this does not extend to year 10.


The current curriculum justs sets him up to fail. Also found out at this meeting that his assessment with the clinical psychologist shows his IQ is 67 and in 2 of 4 assessments was on the first centile, havent got full details yet as the emergency meeting was called by school due tohis behaviour. The CP rearranged her work to attend with us and has been an absolute godsend for our family.


Although we knew he had difficulties the results were quite a shock. Don't think mainstream school is an option anymore. School have been tolerant of his behaviour but a;thouh ds likes this school he he becoming frustrated and stressed. He is so different from his peers and struggles with friendships.


Sorry just rambling feeling really upset it feels like we have a fresh trauma everytime we have an assessment. So worried for his future.


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Ok, get yourself a cuppa and enjoy a BIG cyber hug from me!

I can’t think of a worse time for school to do this and the fact is your son has a LEGAL RIGHT to an education.

Please look at IPSEA and contact SEN?SOS

If there’s a Sen parent support network in the area (every local authority should have one, they used to be called parent partnership)

Also, we have found Care for the Family extremely supportive in the past.

Sending you my warmest wishes going forwards

Many of us are reading thinking of you


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Thanks Pear Tree have just rang in sick. Got dressed as if going to work and dropped off dd she wouldnt cope with me being sick (they dont tell you this in the preparation classes). Lots of other things going on has made my resilience low


School are still providing an education but don't think it's best for him. To be honest thought he was going to be excluded but wasn't.


Thank you for your suggestions will take a look. There are a couple of possibilities just hope we can get a place and I get my happy boy back..


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We were in a very similar position when my son was in year 10 - he had been school refusing and expressing the intention to kill himself - camhs assessments (school said they did not have the money to do these) showed cognitive levels of 73 and below the first percentile for language comprehension and very low scores for several other things. His behaviour problems were very minor (in my view) but school did not deal with them well and had no idea how to progress things after these results. We managed to get him a place in supported learning at local college (SEN provision) School did not do this we had to find it ourselves but school had to pay as he was in year 10 so technically still on roll there. The college were brilliant and after one year he went onto mainstream courses there - level 1 then 2 sports. I would do 3 things - ask the school what they plan to do as they cannot just remove him on those grounds - they can make a managed move but to somewhere suitable - find out if anywhere suitable exists first. Then enquire with the local college. Also apply for an EHCP which will cover him up to the age of 25 to ensure he gets a basic education suitable to his needs. Contact your local SEN department and they should be able to answer your enquiries about other options and tell them you want to start the EHCP application process. IPSEA can provide specimen letters on their website and also you can book a conference call with them for advice. Ask for the number (or to be transferred) to the parent support person in the SEN department when you ring them. Don't worry - there is suitable provision for your son out there and he will be better off away from school - his behaviour and learning will both improve in a more suitable environment and he will be much happier and will find his pathway in life.


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Thank you Safia I think school are looking at a managed moved because they think moving is best for him. It was very evident that the servo is concerned for him. He is statemented and they are going to expedite his move to EHCP.


DH and I are just feeling we have failed him and wished we had realised that he needed a different school earlier. The way year 10 is set up has just put too much pressure on him.


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I understand how you feel - we were also shocked by my son's level of need and felt we should have done more earlier - my son was a "coper" and masked thinks well - did as best he could - but to be fair I had said we had concerns about his comprehension levels in year 5 and the SALT had come (at our request) but as school had said they weren't concerned and we were not there had done very little - again since the first year of secondary he had said consistently he could not understand the work but nobody really did anything - each time we saw the tutor we said the same thing - when CAMHS undertook the assessment they said no wonder he had problems at school and problems with the other boys and that the school should be doing more - try not to blame yourselves - just try to work with them to get the best possible placement now you have more information. Also do seek advice from elsewhere so you have as much information as possible. As your son has levels below 70 he should have access to learning disability services too - mine are both just above this so the services try to wiggle out of helping in any way - just about to tackle that one again soon! Good luck with everything - I hope you find the right place for your son


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I think it is best if you get him as soon as possible in a school for mentally disabled children. That he test this low, in the range of mentally disabled is good in a way because you will qualify for services, not only special education (it is important from now on you remember them every thime that he has learning disabilities) but later supported living as well.

The group children who test between 70-85 are the most challenging group as they often are 'too good' (do not qualify) for services, but not anywhere near understanding mainstream or able to cope in the real world. Most of those children also need high levels of life time support and are unlikely to live fully independently later in life.

You son 'fits in' the category 'learning disabilities', and even if all his trouble stem from neglect etc this might well be a blessing in disguise at the moment. He is not managing now and this is unlikely to improve any time soon, the fact that he's unlikely to experience succes (never the best in class) is not good for his self esteme and only makes things worse. My son is similar, I let him be tested with the most challenging test wisc verbal, he's bi- lingual, to get the score as low as possible for him to qualify for services. That is what he needs now and in the future, to prevent him going off the rails. I always say 'you find learning difficult', he agrees. That is why you are in special education, not because you can not, you can whatever you want and put your motivation to, but you need more time to learn and sometimes more explanation. In your school the children are not 'stupid' (his words) , they just need a bit more time to learn just like you and than they can do the same as everyone else. He says: 'but you said I can not be a pilot or doctor', that is right only very few people can become a pilot or doctor, I can not either, that has nothing to do with you.


So my advise is accept the label, even if you deep inside think the truth is different, if that's the case he'll grow out of services, special needs. If it's not the case you probably prevent a lot of hassle later on.


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'Mentally disabled'??? That's not the way that people tend to talk about learning disabilities these days.


My daughter has an IQ of 56 and attended a special needs school for children with moderate learning disabilities.


School must be very difficult for your son if he has had to attend mainstream with a mld and it's bizarre that no one picked it up before now (though I have to say that we only found out about my daughter because we got her privately assessed in year 5 - her primary school thought she would go to the local comprehensive for some reason). I think that often professionals put all problems in adopted children down to 'attachment' and don't properly investigate to see what's actually wrong.


But you know now. Does he have an ech Plan? If so, you need to contact the sen team at the LA and explain what has happened and tell them you want an urgent review of his Plan. You should then be able to name the new school you want in the Plan. If he doesn't have an EHC then you need to apply for one straight away.


If he moves to a mld school, he will access a curriculum which is more about life skills. What I would suggest is that you also think now about what he will be doing post 16. With sen, you are really supposed to start thinking about this in year 9 and so if you are already year 10...... Options usually include local colleges' supported learning units or a sixth form in a special needs school (but often these are only for the most impaired children and your son is probably too able for this). My daughter actually attended a mld unit attached to a mainstream comprehensive for three years, after her secondary school spent at a mld school. She is now in the supported learning unit at our local college and she will probably stay there for two years. The idea is that she will get a job in catering. She is entitled to ESA and PIP so this gives her some income for now.


I would suggest that you join your local men cap group and see what else is out there for young people with mld / special needs. You might like to look at the 'local offer' on your LA website. This is where all the information on special needs provision in your area is supposed to be held. You might find there is more out there than you think. And the sen world is huge - there are possibly really good services which you and/or your son could access.


Best of luck xx


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Yes I used that term to make it clear as a learning disabilty can mean many things.

I know it sounds all so much nicer but the reality is exactly the same whatever you call it.

If my messages upset you, don't read.


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Thank you for your replies. It has always been a worry that he would fall between not being able to care for himself when older but not being severe enough to be given help. So hopefully it will get him help now and later.


We have always known he has had learning difficulties ( well since he has lived with us, SS told us both children were absolutely fine with no problems) He had problems with mobility/ coordination as well as learning. He has improved coordination and that is no longer a problem.


Since reception he has been on school action then action plus. Both infant and juniors were good at putting provision in to meet his needs. As they were meeting these and he was learning a statement wasn't applied for.


As he was approaching senior school we pushed for a statement and got it without any problems.


We got him into an ARC attached to mainstream school what we didn't realise was that this was only for year7 and he went into mainstream with support from the ARC from year 8.


The way year 10 is set up with the curriculum seems immovable it is frustrating the senco as it is just not right for DS. He has 1 2 1 TA for all lessons but it just overwhelms him.


It has even got to the point where I have considered home schooling when I give up work next year but I don't think it would give him the opportunities he needs.


He currently does a course at the local college via school and has a TA to support him but even this is causing problems.


We have searched the internet for local schools and will follow up the resources posted on here.


I haven't been on here for a long time and life has been up and down. It is good to find that the support is still as good as ever .


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If he has an IQ of 67 you shouldn't have any problem getting him into a mld school - you don't have to give up work and in fact I would suggest that he needs to be learning skills for independence, which is what they do at mld schools. Good luck x


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I'm giving up work anyway as it's getting even more difficult to work as they get older I have worked full-time since my adoption leave and want to be around for their exams. DH used to work part time and has now gone back full time. May have to curb my spending habits a bit but doable. Also parents less able to help now although they still help a lot. I'm currently working my notice so that decision has been made. It's a weight off my mind. I was looking forward to time to myself so do want to get him into a suitable school as it will be best for all of us. DD would not cope very well with her at school and brother at home with me.


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Does he get DLA or PIP? If so and it's middle rate, you can claim carer's allowance x


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Thank you he is on middle rate.


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