test_contentimg

Personal Space

Report content

I have realized today that LO is still struggling massively with this concept and that we have not managed to teach her this.


When she wants a hug, she will just hug any body part available to her. E.g. this morning I was bending down to pick something up and LO shouted 'huggey'. She would not wait for me to straighten myself and then give me a proper hug, instead she grabbed my bottom and stuck her face in it. Quite embarrassing as it was at school where I was dropping her off. Trying to peel her off me, she nearly tripped me over because she would not let go.


She will also go up to people and put her face very close to their faces to the point they are almost touching, then grinning at them (or me as the case may be). When she does this, it feels like she is trying to be friendly and wanting to make sure people notice her. But it feels really uncomfortable and will not make her any more popular with her peers.


Other examples include standing too close, leaning over people etc. Often her behaviour reminds me of that of a young puppy or cat who is just jumping or climbing over their siblings with no regard or understanding of the implications for any of her peers. Whilst this is ok for animals, I fear she will become the 'weird' child in class. I can already see this happening with some of the girls in her class and it breaks my heart to see how they are sniggering and jeering.


So has anyone successfully taught their child? Any suggestions will be welcome as we seem to have been unsuccessful in our attempts.


Thanks!


up
2 users have supported this.

http://www.autism.org.uk/sensory


Have you heard of proprioception? It’s one of the senses that kids who are on the spectrum or who have sensory issues can find tricky.


I have two children with autism. One can’t stand anyone coming too close while my daughter has no clue and will constantly invade your space. I think someone posted something recently about it - can’t recall who - so have a quick look.


My daughter is 12 now and it’s something she’s still not great at but we are quite firm with her about what is appropriate and repeat ad infinitum!


up
Be the first user to support this

I agree with donatella - it's often a sensory thing and needs proper help via a sensory integration therapist (or OT if you can't get that).


You can learn a lot re what to do online or from books - the book I used years ago was The Out of Synch Child, but there are plenty of others too.


Good luck


up
1 user has supported this.

It is not only an asd thing, this is often seen by children with learning disabilities as well. I think it is important you get your daughter tested if only to exclude asd or ld.

Having said this my severely autistic child has never been 'in your face', my youngest who grew up in an orphanage has those issues six years after placement at nearly 12. Yes he learned a bit by 'rules', who can be touched, the circles, middle direct family is kiss, hug etc, outer circle not kiss, hug, giving hands etc oke, outer outer circle is strangers, no staring, no touching etc.

I remeber him how to behave before going to for example a camp, 'not allowed to sit on laps, not allowed to kiss, arms length distance with adults etc'.

I do not know how long she's 8n your care, if you be active teaching her those social rules for a year of longer and there is no real progress it is likely that there is an underlaying cause.


up
Be the first user to support this

You can have sensory problems without ASD or learning disabilities. I think the term 'out of synch child' as in the book I suggested explains it well. It can be due to early trauma. I have mega sensory problems and always did as a child and I wasn't neglected and I don't have a learning disability.


up
1 user has supported this.

We struggle on with this one. We practice and reiterate... I think it is one of the reasons why daughter tends to play with much younger children- they are more forgiving as they haven't worked it out for themselves yet. As well as standing too close, endlessly touching people, butting in to private conversations etc I found her peering under the door of a changing cubicle at the swimming pool on Saturday. She is 8, but couldn't get why the teenager in there seemed upset or why I was cross "I just wanted to see what she was doing". Social norms don't quite register for her. She has been assessed and is apparently not austistic. I am not convinced and am planning to revisit in a year or two.


up
Be the first user to support this

Thank you all for your invaluable comments.


As usual it is so hard to unpick what is what and as I suspected we are probably in for the long haul with this issue.


I am not sure LO has got a LD, I suspect she may struggle with Maths, but despite missing about 20% of all lessons in reception managed to stay in line with expected outcomes. It would not surprise me if she was on the spectrum, but then her symptoms could be down to trauma and early life experiences, never mind what went on when she was in utero.


Mundy, we had similar the other day in the public loos, so I totally get where you come from.


I remember someone recommending "The out of synch child". Thanks for reminding me, I will definitely read this.


And I will certainly look into proprioception too. A while ago I did not think this applied to us, but then kids develop and get older and all of a sudden, things do seem to slot into place.


So basically, I keep doing what I am and just let her know how to be and what not to do. Repeat like a scratched record. Oh joy, I was so hoping I was doing something wrong and that this could be fixed... Wink


up
1 user has supported this.