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Matching process - Feeling underwhelmed.

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We are currently waiting at the matching stage of the adoption process. We completely understand the amount of time it might take to be matched and don't feel the need to rush through the process, but at the same time we feel like we are on our own now in a lottery with (disappointingly) minimal contact from the LA. This is after a fairly intensive assessment process and panel. Does anyone else feel this way? I think we were expecting a little more engagement from our social worker.


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Hi,

It’s a hugely frustrating time. I remember feeling, after the approval juggernaut and the structure of it all, a bit rudder-less in the matching stage. And we had a GREAT SW, but even so we felt like we were in a huge floating limbo.

All I can offer is encouragement that I think you are not alone in feeling that and the process will kick in again when the right child is in the frame. How long have you been approved? Are you on Link maker? We weren’t matched on AL but it kept us feeling proactive.

Good luck!


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Thanks for your reply Upandaway100. We have only been approved for 3 months so not that long really. It all just feels a bit flat after the haste of the assessment process. I guess it's frustrating not knowing what to expect, whether we should be chasing or if we should let it take it's natural course. I don't believe we are on link maker. Not sure if ive heard of that. Thanks again!


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Hi At this stage everyrhing seems to go quiet after stage 2 which is full on. My SW has always been upfront with me and said that I can be proactively family finding myself. By 3 months you should of been put on the adoption register. I suggest you contact your Social worker and just ask them for an update.


Also you don’t need your Sw to add you to link maker you can sign up yourself.


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Aw I completely know how you feel. We waited 2 years for application process to be completed because of a disorganised SW and the waiting for matching was equally despairing with little contact. Hang on in there though, I have now have the most perfect one year old son upstairs asleep.... We were linked in May and met him in Sept after lots of chasing SW. His adoption hearing is next week in court and I promise you, we never thought we would be this lucky.... hang on, keep waiting.... it will be sooo worth it! xx


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I felt the same, particularly as I was led to believe that there were 'lots of children in the system' etc and it all seemed to go quiet. You might want to establish with your SW how often you are in touch and your expectations. When I chased my SW for an update I was amazed at the amount of work she was doing behind the scenes. Good luck with the waiting


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Thanks for the comments everyone!


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Hi There! How is it going? Any News? we are exactly in the same position as you were then or still are? We were only approved in jan 2018, but already getting frustrated about the process, wondering why we re not getting picked etc etc, I guess you just have to hang on in there, and be a bit proactive! We are hoping to go on an activity day which is run by Coram.


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Hi Cheekycat. Yes we have been matched earlier this month so things have started to speed up again for us and should hopefully be +1 very soon. I do think it is a case of trying to be proactive where you can and keep chasing your SW. It's possibly also worth going on the adoption exchange days that your SW will be able to tell you about. Good luck!


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Congratulations JimJams. When does your little one John you?


Cheekycat are you LA or voluntary?


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Hi we are LA


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Your LA may already have a prospective LO lined up for you. Most people I know who went with LA had quite a quick placement.


I know that this is the horrible part of playing the waiting game but, It’s still early days though. Just keep in touch with your LA and if you do want to go to adoption days sound out your social worker and see what they say. It will reenforce that you are both really keen and this should prompt them more.

Good luck with your search.


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CantThinkOfAUse - It is looking like being the end of April. We're very excited now although nervous about bridging stage.


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That’s great good luck xx


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