Looking for some advice

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I'm still relatively young (only now turning 21) but I allways wanted to be a parent. I think it comes from babysitting my nieces and nephews. My friends and family are also very supportive. Im single but I don't smoke or even drink alcohol and I'm rarely if ever sick. I am employed and I have family who live really close to me that could watch the child while im at work at least untill school comes along. I live in rented accommodation but tge rent is easily affordable for me. Ive put alot of thought into this but im worried my age might make people not take me seriously. I'm just wondering if its realistic for me to consider adoption?

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Hi I noticed that no one has yet replied to you.

As I am sure you appreciate parenthood and especially parenthood through adoption is a huge thing. Only you can decide if you are truly ready to choose this path and I am sure you have thought long and hard about it. But do consider all aspects carefully.

You will need a stable home situation with enough room for a child. Enough financial security to allow for time off work - up to a year to settle a child in. Some adoptive parents find that their children require so much support that they are unable to return to work. How would you financiallly cope in this situation?

It's great that you have supportive family nearby but are they really prepared to offer daily support to a child that may struggle to bond with them?

From the sounds of your post you are single. How would adopting affect your social life? (as a single adoptor myself I can tell you my social life now consists of a chat with the other mums whilst waiting to collect from Beavers or Swimming lessons). At the age of 21 are you ready to put aside the chance of an adult relationship for the foreseeable future?

Not saying don't do it. But take your time to be sure you are ready. Personally it took me 5 years before I finally reached the decision that I was ready. It maybe you are ready now or it maybe you need (like me) to take a few years to prepare mentally, emotionally, physically and financially to be in the best position to adopt.

Whatever you decide - good luck!

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Aside fron a few close friends there isnt much of a social life now. You bring up a good point about if im unable to return to work and I haven't thought about that situation yet however I am at least entitled to paid adoption leave if I do and have allready built up some savings. I'm not trying to rush it but I am trying to find out as much as I can before deciding. Its an option Ive only recently started to consider as having one with a partner isnt really an option for me.

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Hi David I'm single 35 and currently starting stage one

I wanted to adopt at young age I was 16 when I relised I taken years reading etc and thinking all postivities and negivites one being if child doesen't want/can't go back to school what do I do? I could loose my home job and be on street.

But then I think if I hadn't own birth children this could happen as well lifes rollercoaster earthier get on or don't I going to get on it lol

Take your time as your 21 you have time read up go on holiday experience life build up other child care experience if u can volunteering with children with L.D and nursery children as much as u can get all experience is great

Look into what u can take regarding work how much time u can have off etc when your ready to find out more look around u can go to lots different LA's or VA find one that's right for u don't sign ROI register of interest until your 100% ready and happy with your choice.

Good luck with it all

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i think it is amazing that you are considering this and really your age should not matter, however having just gone through the process myself i can say that having lots of different types of life experience is vital in going through adoption, both for you and your potential child. This is something you can park and do at a later stage in your life or even in a few years. My advice would be to go to some prep days and get the info about how it works and what is involved first. i live in Scotland and we did our adoption through a private agency so we went to 3 preparation days before we made our official application. This is great because it gives you time to digest all the information you receive and to work out if it is really the right option for you and or the right time. I am 43 and my husband is 50 and i think i would have struggled to adopt at 21, but that is just me. It is the best and worst thing you will ever do and your SW will draw on your experiences to complete your form F and other forms and to sell you to the panel. I think it is unfair to say you cannot do it that in the end is up to you, but i don't see the harm in certainly looking in to it. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

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The original post is from January 2017 - over a year ago.

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