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Ok this is a long one sorry. Just over 18 months ago I said goodbye to two children who were lucky enough to be adopted I loved these 2 and I was happy they were going to be kept together they were so close. I'm not sure of the aware of the small details but I've been informed that the older sibling has been sent back to care with the adoptive parents keeping the younger one. I'm devastated for the older one and I feel like there has to be something I can do?? Any ideas


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7 users have supported this.

If you are suggesting applying to adopt or long term foster you would need to contact your SW and theirs if you have the contact details. They may have plans in mind but it doesn't hurt to ask and would put your mind at rest if you are just concerned.


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It is unclear to me who you are, were two children removed by social services and than adopted?


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I'm just a mum who knew him from school. I'm doubtful we would be allowed to adopt as we have been advised we can't foster for a few more years. i know I probably sound crazy but I can't stop thinking about his sad situation


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Sorry - I assumed you were his ex-foster carer so the above would not apply. Maybe you could just write him a nice letter for his memory box or something? Though you could enquire if the plan is adoption but you would have to go through assessment and approval and it takes a while with no guarantees - but if you are keen it still might be worth making enquiries but be prepared for them to say no.


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You know what it is, this child is well cared for compaired to millions of other children, the bond with the sibling says very little. I pressume the older child might have been very challenging, adoptions do not break down for nothing. If this child is charming and very friendly when you meet him in school, he probably has huge difficulty attaching. Please do not think if he would move to you all would be fine, this are often extremely difficult children to parent. Do not judge the adopters, not saying you do but it is easy to think it must have been them.

If you want to make a difference and it is not your time yet than foster or adopt in a few years time. There are thousends of children in care and older and disabled children have no long queues of waiting adopters.


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I agree with safia, a letter for his memory box would be perfect


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Thank you for all your comments. Although my first response was to be angry with the adoptive parents once I'd thought about it obviously it wouldn't of been done lightly. Although I can't now once I am able I will be looking into fostering or adoption in the future. I'm not living in a every thing is rosey world I've spent years looking after children with both physical and mental difficulties and know the difficulties well. The suggestion of a letter is a helpful one infact there were a few of us who let these little ones into our hearts and I think they would like to be included xx


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You're human with a heart and its understandable to be upset. Like you've said, it wouldn't have broken down for no reason (although sometimes it is not about the child) I hope you can feel a bit more reassured that the professionals in his life will be doing all they can to help x


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