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little or no support network

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How do people cope with little or no support network and how do singles cope with 6 weeks and fot work into it all


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cope with 6 weeks of what ?


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I'm assuming OP means 6 weeks of school holiday. Sounds like things are difficult for you and you're feeling isolated OP?


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Yeah 6 weeks school holidays sorry


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Just get on with it, before you notice it's Christmas! Wink


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Not got child placed yet just wanted to know how singles cope with none or little support network and the 6 weeks holidays with fitting in work is there much support out there for single adopters?


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You have to organise your own support, nobody will come to you and ask or you need something. Do not expect anything, if you get support it's a plus. That's how you need to look at it otherwhise you might become very disappointed.


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Thanks all for comments


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I am not a single adopter, but I know the social worker who assessed us was concerned that we needed to build up a support network ( we had just moved and knew few people locally) so you may need to work on this area if you are able to, for them to approve you. The reality once kids arrive is that expected support can disappear, and others sometimes unexpectedly replace them, but SW will probably want you to have some idea and/ or plans on where to seek support if required. Ours included people we could phone for advice , or a listening ear, such as parents and friends, and ( because we were adopting school kids) we said that when we had a child we would cultivate friendships through the school. I suppose with younger ones there will be people at mother and toddler clubs, etc.

Investigate childcare and activities in your area so you are able to tell SW what is out there. We used a childminder during the summer holidays and after school, but not all kids cope with this well.


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Thank u pingu 123 that's good advice I will be looking into all


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I'm a single adopter and I have to say that a good support network is key. Do you have any friends near by that you can rely on? Start thinking or trying to build a network now. Perhaps there are people from your prep group you could hook up with or you might find something in common with people from the local adoption uk group. You will be asked for an in case of emergency contact when you enrol your child at school.


I'm not sure if you are approved yet but if you are then family finders will be very keen to know you have a support network in place. How will you manage if you were off sick for a while. I think of one example when I was in bed with a stomach bug but luckily my family came to the rescue and whisked my lo off to a family barbecue whilst I stayed at home in bed.


I'm a teacher so I've got school holidays covered. You could use childminders or holiday clubs but they can be expensive. If you are adopting a school age child then meeting other parents at the school gate is a good way to build a network. You could then look to have playdates and look after each other's children on a kind of Rota basis. My only other thoughts will be to save up some annual leave and take it during school holidays and work from home the odd day if your job allows. I have one single friend who managed to negotiate a school term time only contract when she went back to work (she's not a teacher but works in the public sector).


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You meet other parents around your child's age and they become your friends on top of your original support network.


Since LO has been with us our network has grown and we have more people we can turn too and they turn to us if they need anything.


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I'm a single adopter and my expected support networks rapidly evaporated when AD arrived. I didn't have family living within easy reach, and a cross, hyperactive child with attachment difficulties is hard to look after. It wasn't easy - and still isn't - finding suitable holiday childcare. I spend a small fortune on it. Outdoor-based, forest school activities worked best for my AD. She's much more able now to manage mainstream holiday activities but is still tiring for others to look after her. I'm reconciled to spending my holidays camping so that I can afford decent childcare. I don't begrudge it: it is worth every penny to see how AD responds and develops. Church-run, non profit making, residential camps provide me with a welcome break every summer.


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mer, I think you have asked this before and myself and several others gave you quite detailed responses.


in terms of school holidays you must think in terms of 13 weeks, plus teacher training days, plus random things like snow days.


You need to develop a support network. Like any other working parent you will probably need to use some form of childcare, holiday clubs, play date swaps. Holiday clubs can be expensive so you need to factor that into your finances.

There is no extra holiday support just because you are a single adopter. Holiday cover is a pain for all working parents. You just have to pull it together like everyone else.

In the summer, I am fortunate to be able to take three weeks off, as I only work three days, I have two days a week I dont need to worry about, one week scout camp, one or two weeks at sports camps depending on how the dates fall. I've usually run out of annual leave by Christmas and end up taking a few days unpaid leave.

If you work you cobble it together


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Single mum with children and new adoptive placement - it can be done but takes time and effort and of course money.

Establishing a support network is vital, other single parents could potentially help with reciprocal child care. Holiday clubs. Nurseries. Using leave from work is unavoidable to cover holidays, appointments, illnesses etc. Flexible employers are worth their weight in gold!

Ultimately it's all about juggling !

lots and lots of juggling!

(And pray when one gets chickenpox they all get it ... I'd much rather cope with 1/2/3 children ill at once than have them go down one after the other dragging the illness on for weeks and more time off work)


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As a single adopter I am blessed with being a teacher, so the big holidays are less of a trauma. As the majority of my friends are also teachers, this limits my network if son is ill. It is difficult, as I have to take son to school even though he isn't well, they will not pay me if I am off if my son is sick. So many times, I feel like an awful mum, forcing a sick child to school because I have no-one who can help close by. I agree, it is about who you know, but then you sometimes have the added complication like me, is that even if you are lucky enough to find someone to help, the darling son, is so unsure of that person, that you can be called out of work, because they are having an emotional break down. I empathise fully and wish there was an easy answer.


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