I need to rant......sorry
Well as the title says really. I need to rant and as I am on my own at home with hubby are work and kiddies at school and preschool I am driving myself mad. So, I thought I would write it here as a form of therapy and know that people will read and offer some help or words of wisdom even if it is to tell me to get over myself and stop being an idiot!!
Letterbox and Post Adoption
I wrote our bi annual letterbox to Pickles BPs in February, some of you may recall I posted about the drawings, I usually send a drawing with it but as she was more into making odd creations with her duplo and lego, she wasnt really drawing. She is newly diagnosed with ADHD and SPD so didnt really settle back down after Christmas until the end of January. I decided that I wouldnt rock the apple cart with getting her to do drawing as she seemed pretty stable and content. She had also just started play therapy too. I am planning on getting some art out of her in the summer but then I can take the emotions that come with it in the holidays without it upsetting school and her routines too much. I also figured I would have more time for life history work as well. Anyway, I wrote in the letter that she is more into construction at the moment over art and the like.
Forward fast to today...a month after my letter was received by the placing authority and a duty worker contacts us. BM has been onto them, she wants an exchange of photos and cards. Our agreement says no to these and we again said no but he asked us anyway. He asked for the reasons behind the denial and the response was that it is not part of the agreement and they are very active on social media. I was cross that he contacted us to ask the question even though everything says no to photos or cards.
Then we get another call, BM wants to know where her picture is as she demanded one in the last letter you sent and you havent sent it on. Again, we said that she hadnt done any art so there was nothing to send on and pointed him back to the letter where I had, obviously unsuccessfully, explained that the interests have changed. Cue moan about why it is important to send these things to birth parents etc.
I lost my cool a little and sent him a stinker of an e mail reminding him that letterbox should be in the best interests of the child and that I felt that it is always in the best interests of the BPs.
I am fed up of going through this every 6 months. Me writing a letter to them, Pickle asking the odd question to them in the letters that never get answered. I am fed up of just getting a reply that repeats my letter back to me. I am fed up that they still dont write to us as the adults. I am fed up of them demanding we write / send / do certain things through the letters. I am fed up of the 6 monthly phone calls from different duty workers about the same things. I am fed up being told by these workers that I am the one in the wrong!
Can you tell I am fed up?
Sorry folks, but needed to rant, I think my neighbour must think I have well and truly lost the plot today.
Thank you for reading