How is it being an adoptive parent in a wheelchair? Just want to know I will manage

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We, my husband and I,are currently going through the adoption process. We have 2 adult children but I have MS and am now in a wheelchair. The aim is to adopt within the age range 5-9. Has anyone else done this?

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Hi wheeler

My husband and I adopted our son aged 7 two and a half years ago and it's been the best decision we ever made. I have Spina Bifida and am a permanent wheelchair user. I basically had to prove throughout how I would care for a child and what I would do, what support I had etc. I'm quite an independent person but do have my physical limits but I can honestly say I haven't had any problems whatsoever throughout my time as his mum. He's great and such a caring boy he always wants to help with stuff but given his past where he basically had to look after mum due to her difficulties I obviously have had to reassure SS that I'm the carer not him and I can and do care for him. There is support available plus some of us in here so good luck and let us know how it goes x

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We adopted our little girl who is 5 in October so it's all still very new. It has been the best and hardest thing I've ever done. I've had arthritis since I was 9 and multiple joint replacements, I am currently walking unaided but there have been and may well be again, moments in my life when I am in a wheelchair or sticks. We chose to adopt via Barnardos agency rather that la as we found them far more accepting of any disability or diversity. Having said that I did have to spend a huge part of the approval process proving I was fit enough and that the child would NOT be my Carer! (I found some of the probing quite insulting ) but we persevered. Once approved we then found some sw were too short sited to see beyond my disability. We took the stance that anybody can get sick as parents but at least we know my problems and have adapted. Anyway a lot of sw saw my disability as proof of our/my emotional strength and resilience and had no problem with it and once we found our perfect match everything fell into place. If I could give you 2 tips as a disabled adopter it would be 1) attending exchange days so that the children's sw can actually meet you rather than just reading about you on paper, this was priceless and 2) be realistic with the child you want (e.g. We went for 5 yr old, physically well child with attachment issues) as this shows them that you have given a lot of thought to your ability. Hope this all helps and I'm here if you have any other questions. I feel really passionate about the success of disabled adopters as we have sooooooo much to offer a child regardless of disability just as other minorities do. Ella xxxx

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