How do you deal with comments / actions that have a racist tone?

Report content

We are a dual heritage family. Floreana is one of a handful of children in the area to have brown skin....she is starting to notice the difference in skin tone . As have other children . We have had a couple of experiences where she has been called a monkey and we have not been made welcome in caf├ęs ... The latter may have been because she was a child but the experiences sit uncomfortably with us ...

47 users have supported this.

Tough one, we don't really have this as we live in a very diverse place. Pick your battles, if it's other children name calling then maybe a word with the parents. I wouldn't go to places where I feel unwelcome. But personally I would focus on Floreana herself, giving her confidence and pride in who she is, the capacity to shake off the idiots. My goddaughter and her brother are dual heritage and grew up in st Ives, it's pretty white in that part of Cornwall, they were the only ones in the school. They had some comments and name calling but they were so secure in themselves and their self worth that it was water off a ducks back.

29 users have supported this.


I think serrakundas suggestion of focusing on your daughter having a strong sense of her self is a good one, as realistically she will have to deal with others attitudes / name calling again...

I would try to make sure she has opportunity to mix with other children/ people of colour so she is not always in the situation where she is the only one.

Talk to her when this happens , so she knows it is something she can talk to you about and is not something you are uncomfortable talking to her about .

Have books/ dolls etc that have characters that look like her .

It might be worth talking to the other parents if you know the children concerned, depends on whether you think the child's behaviour reflect s their parents attitudes........

If you are not made welcome in a cafe , I would leave - as serrakunda said choose your battles . I remember being told that " you can't change other people, only how you react to them" - which I have found to be good advice...


44 users have supported this.

There is an American writer/blogger called Rachel Garlinghouse who has a good resources list. She is a transracial adopter but a lot of the resources she lists (especially for kids) could be useful. I have the book but I think they are all listed on the blog. I'm not sure how easy it would be to get some of the books she mentions as they might have to be imported from the US and some are culturally African American. However I managed to find a few kids books (and CDs) that she mentions on The Book Depository online.

The blog is: http://www.whitesugarbrownsugar.com/

I think there is a chapter in the book that discusses how they deal with racism & stereotypes.

61 users have supported this.


PAC have a training day coming up for parents of mixed heritage children - "transracial identities" .


51 users have supported this.