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Helping them manage periods

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Appreciate this is small beer compared to what many of you are dealing with, but would be grateful for any advice on helping my youngest, an emotionally young 12 year old, get to grips with having periods. I must admit I'd not done as much preparation stuff with her as I should have done, foolishly assuming that her older sister would start first. So I didn't realise at all when she had her first period - she hid her dirty undies, PJs etc. in the bottom of her wardrobe. I've obviously got pads for her, bought a pretty little bag to put a couple in to take to school, shown her how to use them etc. etc., and her eldest sister has also talked to her, but she absolutely refuses to use them, tells me that she doesn't want to talk about it and when I say she's on her period she needs to use the pads will tell me it's stopped. The only small progress is that she is now putting her washing into the basket/washing machine rather than hiding it.

I just don't know how to help - she is in complete denial. (She is quite fixated on being the youngest and not wanting to grow up.) Any ideas? I don't want to make a bigger deal of it than it is, and don't mind buying new undies - but I'd hate to think that other children may realise and tease her.

LB


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Hi LB,

There was a very helpful thread about this a while back, and a suggestion/link to a site that sold absorbent pants that didn't need any pads or inserts.

I don't think this is unusual amongst our children, and two out of three of my girls have had problems. One was because she was not aware of her body and its processes, so the problem with periods followed on from years of dirty pants from toileting issues. It is complicated by them not wanting any support though. My youngest who hasn't had any continence problems is currently in denial and behaving like your daughter. She denies that she has her period, refuses to take any pads if she is going away and generally acts as if it isn't happening.


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I started at 12 and I hated periods , menopause couldn't come soon enough. ! I remember being very reluctant to wear pads and struggled even more with alternatives. It's even harder at school , both with other kids around and not feeling so free to be active. Some kids are happier with tampons but not all. If absorbent pants can now be bought, maybe worth finding out and buying some?


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There's a new range of sanitary products by lilets (sp?) which are aimed at pre-teen and teenagers. You can buy different ones for daytime and night. They are really small and discreet and come in lovely packaging. Might be worth a try.


A xx


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Thanks - as ever reassuring to know I'm not alone. Will investigate the pre-teen specific options, and also good to know about the absorbent pants.

LB


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Hi


I have bumped a thread but also this is in the archive


https://www.adoptionuk.org/adoption-uk-archived-forum?forum=18&topic=49445


I do think girls start earlier and earlier these days. Several 9 yr olds have started in year 5 class


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