Help pls - our AD has turned violent
Our 15yrs AD returned in Dec16 after 10 months of being in FC after disruption in Feb16 and court procedures of being accused of being bad parents by LA. We fought the LA as AD
The day before the final hearing AD decided she wanted to live in care home, but we still persuaded at court for her return which she did.
We did this for AD and half sibling who is fully attached to us (now 10). We have had attachment problems with AD from the onset when she came to us age 8 (back in 2009) but not half sibling (age 18 months).
Reconnect Therapy from last May16 ends at of Jun16 and AD has never really engaged but we parents have found it useful. The sessions have been quite tense as AD has just got very angry in them and pre/post the sessions.
Since returning AD has constantly being pushing us away with her behaviour, abused her phone privileges by allowing herself to be groomed but discovered in good time and increasingly being disruptive at school.
Her very aggressive behaviour and constantly telling us for last six months she wants to leave home resulted in her turning violent yesterday when we tried to remove her MP3 player. We did this as she has been excessively aggressive for the few months (daily basis) which concerned us and so we self referred to SW yesterday, saying we were increasingly worried about her behaviour and the adverse mental impact it was having on the whole family. This did please AD. The SW dropped a note to Adoption SW who is due to see AD this week for her monthly visit. They said we did the right thing as we need to put some support plan in place. We were desperate as the mental impact it was having had reached crisis point for us as a Family.
I normally 'playfight' with AD as it usually deescalate her anger but this time she just turned and started to punch and kick me, ripping my top. In an attempt after about 1/2 to calm her down, she went for me again trying to bite me, I did not react and had to restrain her down and then leave the room, again my top was torn.
We are very shocked by this behaviour as something has triggered inside her, we are not sure if it is the school or therapy but we have never seen this in her as she gets older AD and bigger our concern is could she become violent towards her half sibling??
There is a school meeting scheduled next week which AD is included as they have some big concerns about her downward spiral towards schoolwork and behaviour. We know AD likes all adults discussing her negative disruptions.
We simply do not know what to do?!! Were we wrong to dispute the LA who wanted to remain in FC? We were doing this for her but since returning it has been very difficult for her to accept our Parental boundaries and authority which has led to this crisis point.
HELP PLS, ANY ADVICE?? WHAT DO WE DO, WE NEED TO MAKE SOME DECISIONS ON THE SUPPORT NEEDED.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE, WE DO NOT WANT IT TO GO WORSE FROM HERE IF SHE REMAINS AT HOME, HER ANGER AND VIOLENCE COULD ESCALATE.....