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So we are going through the fostering process with a hope to adopt a little girl of 20 weeks. We also took in the 3 year old and 11 year old.So in November we were asked to attend court as my wifes sister is in trouble. We were asked to take the children to save them going into the foster system.

So to cut a long story short we have been going through the fostering process as we were told we have to be full registered, so the children in 12 weeks, have hit all major milestones and come on better than most they have seen. So today we have been told that if we are not willing to give our ex contact we would be refused and not accepted by South Gloucestershire.

We have 12 references knowing us back to those days, they have contacted my oldest daughter from the marriage. So we both separated in 2001 and 2002 from our ex partners. So 13+ years of torment from my side after separation and divorced for 10 years. My wife and i have been together 11 years and married 9 years. all the children from the current relationship and my eldest daughter have been contacted,

They are now talking about the 3 children who has 2 biological parents, 2 of the children's dad want the eldest 2 and to support and ensure the children maintained contact we would take the baby, so they could stay in sibling contact.

We have been told now because the dad of the elder 2 is not willing to take the baby he would not get custody of the 2 biological kids,

What is this country coming too when willing hard working people are treated like this, any advice would be great?



9 users have supported this.

i'm afraid i'm rather confused by what is going on and with who. but it is perfectly normal to speak to ex partners before approval to adopt or foster. they are well aware that some ex's will be vindictive, but need to speak to them because you have had children together to get their perspective. your reluctance to provide details (if that is the problem?) raises alarm bells that maybe you are wanting to hide something, whether or not that is true. if you anticipate problems with ex's then tell sw's what problems you anticipate, give them the contact details and let the sw's make up their own minds. but it IS normal practice and something they have to do. when I went for approval to foster my ex was spoken to and he lives in china!

cant answer about the birth dad of the older two, but if he has PR for them then the court will give him custody if he is deemed safe to have them. if he isn't the baby's dad then he wont have PR so the court is unlikely to award custody except under family and connected persons rules, and not always then either. but not sure why the court would deny him his own two children becoz he wont take on a third that is not his own? and forgive me if I have misunderstood something here?

2Be the first user to support this

you might find the family rights group can answer your questions better, I am assuming that the children are in some way related to you?

38 users have supported this.