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going to panel but social workers not in full support

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Hi had anyone out there gone to panel but not really had the full backing from their social workers? They had issues around elderly relatives plus our support work and past anxiety issues despite giving them evidence of how we can work this out. Feel this is the best option as if turned down we can go to the independent revuew mechanism. Not sure if we have alternative options as the social workers have said if we go elsewhere to another agency they would have the same concerns.... really upset as feel we are being discriminated against


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I do know one person who went to panel to argue against the sw recommendation and won so it can be done.

As regards another agency well some have had a bad experience with one agency but gone on to be approved elsewhere so i wouldnt take that as gospel and any new agency would want to speak to this one so yes it would be tricky but not impossible.

How soon is panel? Are you able to get independant advice and support from any independant bodies? Can anybody provide supporting evidence etc? I dont have any direct experience but just a couple of thoughts. Really hope it works out well for you X


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Sorry more thoughts.

When you say not fully supportive are they recommending you are not approved or that it is deferred whilst issues resolved?

I guess they are wary because they dont want to see your relationship implode under too many pressures esp if issues with anxiety previously.

If you go under and crack then everyone is sunk including children ,elderly relatives and you yourselves.

I guess only you know if you can deal with potentially v demanding kid /s on top of other existing commitments . It is hard when others make those judgements for you i know. Sw are v risk averse as no doubt you know!

Anyway i feel for you and the best of luck whatever you decide. X


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Hi wizzywoo, thanks so much for your helpful comments, they are not saying they wont recommend, they are really saying they want panel to decide, and maybe offer any advice as to how to resolve issues. I have already said that my in laws have a good support network around them, and also use them, plus we said that we would get home care in for them. We have given them suggestions of how to resolve these issues, but they don't class it as evidence!! Encouraging though to hear that others have got through even though social workers not supportive. I think they do genuinely want us to get through this.


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Hi Again


I think Panel is likely to be the end of June now, so we do have a few weeks to get some things in place and more evidence together etc.


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Oh well that sounds quite positive to me as an outsider. It is such a stressful time so it is all uncertainty you could do without i am sure.

Dot every i and cross every t is my advice.

Could you write a summary of your evidence in terms of what you can do to get around it all and give a copy to each panel member on the day or ask to submit in advance. They like to see that people have really thought through how to manage long term situations if things deteriorate re older relatives etc. Is panel v soon ?


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Panel is end of June, so have some time to prepare.


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I think most of us are told, during the prep stage, that SWs will only put you forward to panel if they think you'll succeed and really, they should be your advocate. From what you say, it sounds like your SW is trying to shrug off his/her responsibility and is hoping someone else will make the decision for them (and surely it's a bit late in the day if your SW is expecting panel to give advice on what support you might seek out?). Part of the panel process involves the SW presenting your case to panel members either before or after you go in so if it was me, I'd be worried at how positively they would be pushing for me to be approved. Perhaps you need to talk to your SW and/or their manager to get to the bottom of this before panel. Good luck


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I follow the blog of some adopters who had a long approval journey. I think they changed agency and then with their second agency were told it could go either way at approval panel. They might be able to offer some advice if you reach out. It's 3years2men1baby.co.uk


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We are going to panel similar time with similar question marks over panel decision for different reasons, so I feel your pain. What a rollercoaster it's been already. If I were you I would be arguing that you have been there for parents/ in laws before as there was no reason not to be. However you are able to prioritise any future child, give specific examples of how you have formulated any possible care plan for the parents, how would any costs be met, can they afford care or be knowledgeable about any benefits that would contribute to any costs for them. How about an ecogram of their support networks, their neighbours, friends etc. I would type it all up and present it so that if you struggle to articulate it on the day there and can be used as prompts for you. Give examples of situations that could have been stressful but that you managed because of A B and C, what have learned from previous periods of anxiety for things to be different another time. Have self belief in your body language and delivery so they are convinced by you.

Some workers are more risk adverse than others, as no doubt will be the case for different panel members, so hopefully it will even itself out.

I also know third hand of an adoptive couple where one had their own significant care needs but they were approved when it was evidenced that a good care package was in place to meet that parents needs.

Good luck and let us know the outcome x


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Hi little poppet thanks so much for your advice we have done out a an eco type map already for them. Good to hear though that we are not the only ones going through this. Yes it has been a huge rollercoaster ride. I too wish you luck . Let me know how it goes ! X


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hi

it sounds good that you have time to reflect on these issues

my only extra concern for you is that it is not just about being approved it is then about being matched and I would suggest you discuss this too with your sw as you will need their backing ; you need to agree what is realistic for you at this time in your lives

I have known people who were approved with concerns and never matched which with hindsight was wrong


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Hi Jet I take your point they have talked about this but we can't really wait until in laws may have died fir example as could be 10 years away by which time we could be in our mid fifties too late really then to adopt!! Now is the right time for us issues that we have any adoption e parent may face and I really don't feel we should be discriminated against. Plus we have put a plan together but still not convinced. We have been told we have a lot of strengths and much to offer so really I think they should not be dismissing these. Also having suffered with anxiety some 10 tears ago dot you think this makes me more aware of these things gs and when and how to seek help? What do they want prospective parents with no issues I think that is hard to find and if no issues now they may crop up at a later time....


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Also just to add why were these people never matched? We know you need to sell yourself in this climate I am a speech therapist with a wealth of experience working with children with different needs and we have said we would be prepared to take on a child with additional needs


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cheekycat, I had a very rocky road through approval. It was apparent to me very early on that my SW didnt really approve of single adopters. It imploded and she withdrew me from panel with three weeks to do. I went to a VA, was very honest with them, I went to panel and they deferred because they wanted something checked out from my time with the LA. When I went back to panel they couldnt have been nicer and ended up being very critical of the LA.


I didnt have any trouble with matching, other than the being single factor.

You could go elsewhere. Some of the ' issues' identified by the LA went totally unremarked on by the VA


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Hi Serrekunda, thanks for your comments, I think we will go to panel as have not been totally withdrawn, and then see what happens... They had also disuaded me from using another agency sugesting that they would still have the same issues! Feel we have been treated verfy badly by then, and unfairly!


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