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Hi all,

Can I ask what kind of questions they might ask about finances? I have a reasonable amount of debt which is being paid off, but a well paid job (which I won’t be giving up as child we are looking to adopt is school age and I’m a teacher so can work around it), and a ‘good’ score on the credit rating.


What financially speaking, would mean they wouldn’t proceed? (Hubby also has a well paid job)


Thanks xx


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They need to see you are in control of finances and have planned for reduced income if necessary. Some debt is ok if you can show its being reduced and managed eg car loan Each SW will have their own view but if you can show you've considered your finances and planned ahead that will be good. Don't try and hide anything you may have to show bank statements to back up what you are saying.


As a word of caution, although you plan to continue working you may have to re think that even if a school age child, plan for worst case scenario of you working part time or not at all then anything extra will be a bonus!


If possible reduce as much debt as you can, children are not cheap and any savings soon disappear! Good luck


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I also wouldnt assume that older child means there will be no compromises with regard to working, whether its you or your husband.

My son was nearly 8 when he came home 6 years ago. I still work part time, three days a week, and my son, whilst he has his challenges, is certainly not the most difficult of adoptive children.


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I have already spoken to adoption and they have said it shouldn’t be a problem - guess hey look at each individual circumstances


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Ideally they want you to be in a position that you could afford to stop work if the needs of your child demanded that.... sadly many adoptees have issues over and above an average child and what is evident when they are placed. We adopted older (school age) children and I planned to return to work, but quite quickly it became clear that wouldn't work and I gave up.


Usually strong finances would mean minimal debts and some savings and an idea of how you would manage on a lower income.


The process does take a while, so my suggestion would be to work hard at paying off those debts - overpay as much as you can, which will also be an exercise in managing to live on less money. Think about what you need to spend money on compared to what you do spend money on. Common areas for saving can be better deals on things like mortgage, utilities, phones, TV and reviewing discretionary expenditure such as holidays, clothes and leisure spend, but its very dependent on personal circumstances.


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There are many adopters who imagined they’d have their child placed and afte a period of time life would revert to how it was with the child fitting in. For some, it works. For lots of others, me included, it doesn’t.


It doesn’t really matter what the adoption team say as they’re unlikely to be the people who place a child. It’s not assessing sw you will need to convince - it’ll be the placing sw and they may have an entirely different view. As you say, judge each case on an individual basis!


You may find that a child will settle in school and have few issues. Or they may not. What any sw will be looking for is flexibility, adaptability and a plan B in place should plan A go whatsits up. As it has for many.


If your child can’t settle, can’t be separated from you, finds school awfully difficult, if you’re then unable to return to work as you plan, what would your plan B be?


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Thanks all. It is a specific child we are looking at - can’t say too much obviously but it does make for a slightly different set of circumstances... if however it became clear that they needed one of us not to work we would do a shared arrangement so neither of us gave up but worked pt

Who is the placing sw? Is that the Child’s sw?


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As said by many above, I think you should have plan B as your default, which means planning your finances around one income stream.

When we were at your stage, we also both planned to go back to work at some stage. My wife is a teacher too.

In the end, we both took a year off and my wife resigned after that to be a full time mum. We only have one and have no extreme challenges to deal with yet, but there is no doubt that this is a tough, all consuming job in itself.

All children coming from the care system bring with them a degree of trauma and that is especially true for older kids.

This is not to say that it becomes impossible to juggle a career and childcare. Many single adopters do it, but I haven't met any who've said it's easy.


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Placing sw is the child’s sw. Is that the one who’s said it’ll be okay? Generally they’re unlikely to be the ones who will do your training and home study.


My third child was child specific. No additional needs etc etc. Hasn’t been quite like that!


It may be different - child’s sw may know that child very well and know what s/he will manage. On the other hand they may think they know the child well ... but don’t!


I’m not asking you to give too much away but just be prepared for things to not be as straightforward as they appear to be implying. And have a plan B in the event that it doesn’t go quite to plan.


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Lolly - We were approved for specific children and I expected to be able to return to work, but it still didn't pan out that way.... Whatever the circumstances you need a plan B as Donatella calls it...parenting an adopted child is quite different to most parenting - even for those adoptees who are relatively straightforward....some will cope well with school, some won't and what has happened in FC isn't always a reliable predictor.


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Thanks all - plan B discussions it is then! Yes Child’s sw is the one who has put ya forward to the adoption agency following our discussions


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I am a single adopter who used to be a teacher. I cut down my working hours to 70% when my daughter moved in. I now work as a TA. Firstly my daughter needed more of my time outside school even though she had a lovely childminder, secondly as she got older there was less time between our bedtimes for me to get work done but most importantly dealing with a traumatised child is exhausting and teaching is emotionally demanding too. I love the fact that I can spend most of her out of school time with her. It has made a massive difference to her anxiety levels and my stress levels!


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