End of the road & considering section 20
It's been years since I was here.
We have been to hell & back & we feel we have now reached the end of the road.
We have had 8 years of violence, aggression & uncontrollable behaviour.
We have been shuffled from pillar to post by children's services/post adoption support/CAMHS & The children's disabilities team with little to no support despite begging for help.
It all peaked on Thursday when AD didn't arrive home from school. She is usually home by 3.45.arrives in a taxi with her escort.
An hour afterwards (& with me beside myself with worry) & after repeated calls & text messages with no reply the deputy head & safeguarding officer calls to say she won't be home. She's made some allegations which were very serious & that social care would be in touch.
S/w finally calls an hour later to say BD will be spending the night at her respite carer & that further talks will happen tomorrow.
We were distraught! Beside ourselves with worry & were being told nothing of what had been said.
She had previously made allegations against us & teachers but never had it gone this far.
I was terrified that they would take my BD despite assurances that there was no concern for her safety.
Friday came & we heard nothing until my BD rang ag lunchtime to say that a police officer & SW were on their way to see her in school.
She was scared... asked me if she would be taken away because of her sister!
It was heart breaking. We tried to reassure her that she should just tell the truth & answer all questions honestly
The police & SW then came to see us.
They explained that AD had made allegations of violence & aggresion & said they had no concerns & that our BD had shown them bruises & scratches which had been inflicted on her by her sister.
They asked us about an incident (which had happened the weekend previous) where AD had attacked BD & OH had to intervene & litterally tear AD off of her sister.
Her history of aggression, violence, previous lies & mental health concerns including attachment were taken into account & the ofgicer said there would be no further action.
We were asked to collect her from school at 3.15 with SW there to support.
Needless to say this went far from smoothly.
We all got kicked, swore at & screamed at. She refused to come home. Said she wanted a new family.. wanted to go to her respite carer to live & hated us all.
More allegations were thrown at us. She was like a child possessed!!
School had never seen behaviour like this before (She has only been at this school for a year after being moved from mainstream)
I het previous school they had gotten used to dealing with lies, thriving & aggression but not in this school. She's an angel here.
It's like a different child.
At around 6pm we finally got her out of school & home despite us gearing for our safety.
The weekend has been awful. With us all walking on eggshells not knowing if/when she will explode again.
My eldest has now said she cannot go on like this. To be honest we have all been saying it for over a year!
Things are getting worse, not better & AD is getting bigger, stronger & able to inflict more harm when she gets violent.
We no longer feel we can parent her safely whilst keeping our other daughter & ourselves safe.
We have to make the difficult choice to ask for her to be accommodated elsewhere.
Don't get me wrong.. this isn't a snap decision. We love her dearly & it breaks my heart to admit defeat.
I've failed as a parent but I cannot do this anymore. My eldest is in her final year at school & facing her GCSE S soon.
It's destroying us.
Has anyone had experience? Can anyone help?
I think we need to ask for section 20 whilst we get her & us some help.
I'm terrified I'm losing my family.
This is the toughest day of my life but I have to do what is best for us all.