Deteriorating behaviour - increasingly violent
We adopted 3 siblings approx 18 months ago who are now aged 7, 5 and 4.
7 year old, difficult behaviour from the off, however we can talk to him, we can reason with him, and he has really engaged with his art therapy. Lots of worries for the future, but at present he is manageable.
4 year old, so far easy to manage. Testing boundaries, delayed in speech, poor attention span, but seems to be attaching to us and again, is at present manageable.
5 year old................ very delayed in speech and language, very slow to learn new tasks, can have a lovely sunny temperament, but also an awful temper which is getting increasingly worse. He has recently become concerned about where we will be when he goes to bed which we are taking as a good sign as he has not shown any concern previously on the rare occasions that we have had babysitter's round. He seems visibly relieved when we say that we aren't going anywhere or that just one of us is going out (either one) and the other is at home.
Obviously we have just been through a stressful time of year, and we did our very best to keep Christmas low key. Lots of pyjama and home days, interspersed with bike rides/walks. His behaviour however just fluctuates so much that we are becoming at a bit of a loss as to what to do. A few examples from the last week:
Playing trains with his younger brother. Lovely game, but inevitably 4 year old gets bored and says he's not playing anymore. 5 year old flips and throws a train at his head. Consequence - time in downstairs with me for 5 minutes.
Big bro comes in to tell me that the new fibre optic sensory light 5 year old received has been completely ripped apart. Ask him what happened, he said he threw it on the floor. Asked why he didn't tell us it had broken and he couldn't answer. Fixed it and gave it back to him telling him to go and put it on his shelf straight away, and that it's only to be used from there. Check his room 5 minutes later and he's again just thrown it on the floor so it's all come apart. He cries and says he should have put it away...... Consequence - it's not repaired again and instead taken away.
Big bro interrupts him and talks over him (as 7 year olds do) - he lunges at him from across the room, fists clenched and raised. He was intercepted and when asked what he was going to do he says 'hurt him because he talked over me'.
Today - has thrown his younger brothers car across the room and broken it. Says he did it on purpose but again, doesn't know why. Consequence - time in again.
We have had approval from the ASF for therapy for him, to hopefully start soon. But I'm just after suggestions on how to handle his temper? NOTHING seems to sink in or have any effect. Typing the scenarios out makes them seem more trivial but the general mood of the house is becoming affected by his temper that I thought i'd just reach for help on here.