Defeated before we start ?!
Hi there everyone ! What a great site ! I'm just feeling quite deflated, my husband & I are unable to have children naturally , we both long to have children of our own , I have suggested adoption may be an option ? My husband has been back & forth with me one minute he says yes then no then yes again . I would never ask him to adopt against his will . I do understand how life changing this is and I am 100% committed . I have been asking for information packs and doing a lot of research whereas my husband has not even looked at the info with me which is worrying me as we both need to be on the same page ! Anyhow he has mentioned some valid points , which have been stressing me out . Such as : my family all live miles away , my mum & dad & sister & nephew at least 2 hour drive away , I only have one close friend and a couple of aquaintances but none of them have children . The only interaction I have had with children is my nephew which I adore ! But hubby thinks this may go against us regarding a support network , my husband has lots of life long friends but sadly his family would never accept me so I don't see his family & have not done for years . He has a bit of contact with them but not a lot , he does not want his family having any part of our children's lives ( if we are to have any ) , because his mother said she didn't want to be because of me etc . So we are both worried that could go against us and make us look bad even though we have tried to offer an olive branch but they will not accept me so there are no bridges to build . I do understand that some adopted children can come from tense family situations but I was worried this could mean they would not accept us ? And finally our other concern is finances , my husband is self employed and has been for many years . But I have been struggling to find a job as I'm not very skilled for a while now so we are managing but money is tight . Obviously I understand they need to know we can support our child aswell . Hubby is adamant we won't stand a chance with all this , while I like to point out the positives , like we have so much love to give and a nice little home for our child to be etc. I'm very creative while hubby is very practical . So I'm trying to look at our strengths going for us rather than things going against us for adoption . But I'm so stressed before we have even started thinking we don't stand a chance ! Has anyone had similar issues ? Or know of these points will rule us out ? Any advice would be appreciated !