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Decision to adopt with birth child

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Before we adopted I read lots of forums and articles about adopting with birth children and most of what I read scared me and almost put me off as it was mostly negative. However, we went ahead and I want to let people know it was the best thing we ever did. She was the missing piece of our jigsaw and I can truly say she completes our family.

We were worried as we loved our birth daughter so much that we wondered how we could love another child the same and I can honesyly say that love is 100% the same for her too. I love her as if I had given birth to her as it feels the same love as my birth daughter.

We were lucky as we adopted her at 7 months so the attachment came easy for us as she relied on us so much. It did come with a 6 month settling in period as she wouldn't cuddle into us and always had her arms out stretched at the start but after this period she would give us kisses and cuddle us tigh. When she called me Mummy for the first time it's the best feeling. It took 2 months for our birth daughter to come to terms with it too. She was 7 years old at the time and even though she was involved in the process she was very jealous and felt pushed out at the time. She vented it mostly towards me and I had to work hard to convince her she was still so important and how much we loved her.

I wanted to put this story out there so people can feel more positive whilst going through the process. It certainly worked in the end for us.


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16 users have supported this.

That's so nice to read! x


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5 users have supported this.

Thank you for sharing this - lovely ! X


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6 users have supported this.

Good going with lots of empathy, therapeutic gently child lead bonding process and good sized age gap between bc and ac. Think you're doing great.


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4 users have supported this.

Thank you


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5 users have supported this.

thank you so much for this I am in stage 2 go to panel in April and reading lots of comments is absolutely terrifying me. its really hard to find a positive story so this is so nice to hear thankyou for taking the time to post this


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Thank you for sharing with us. We are in assessment process with a birth son and our SW told us to look on the forum to help and it has really unsettled me. Good to know there are happy stories x


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Nice to hear. We were approved to adopt with a birth child, and after a couple of potential matches that didn't go forward, after 2 years we were matched with a child. However we were so put off by comments on AUK and elsewhere, that we didn't pursue the match, so worried were we of the impact on our birth child. We may come back to adoption, and I still hold out hope that we will brave enough to do it some day!


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