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BME groups/contact with BME adopters

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Hi, is anyone out there from a BME background that would like to exchange views and advice with another BME adopter?


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66 users have supported this.

Hey, I'm not an adopter yet, prospective in stage 2 but it'd be great to chat to someone else!


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62 users have supported this.

Hi there,

Where exactly are you up to? I went through the old process and so I'm not sure what stage 2 refers to?

What background are you from? I'm British Asian (from an Indian Hindu background).

Look forward to hearing from you.


Take care


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74 users have supported this.

Hi


I am about to go to panel (fingers crossed it doesn't get delayed again). I am white and my husband is black British/Caribbean . We are with a specialist BME agency and are (hopefully) going to be approved for a mixed white/black child of any background aged 0-12 months. We are half measures of excited and terrified so would love to share views/support.


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Hi,


I'm just finishing my home study/assessment and have a panel date in June.


I'm black British of Caribbean descent and hopefully going to be approved for a child aged 4-8 but open to ethnic background.


Like you Barbados girl I'm a mixture of nervous and excited, with the nerves only really just beginning to settle in now everything is getting closer and becoming more and more real!


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79 users have supported this.

Hi it's great to see some action on this board. Let's try to keep it going. I'm black American /Caribbean and hubby is white British. We were just approved to be adopters at the end of March. We hope to adopt 1-2 child/children between 0-4 that are black/white mixed. We are due to meet with agency family finder at the end of this month so are very excited. Would love to be in contact with others


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74 users have supported this.

Welcome Ziggie. It's great to see some action on this board. Its about time!


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79 users have supported this.

Hi Ziggie, I second starryeyed's comment about seeing some action o this board.


I'm Asian and my husband is white. We too were approved in March and have been linked with two children. The childrens' SW is coming around at the end of April. Are you nervous Ziggie? Some moments I'm really excited and then at other times I feel terrified.


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56 users have supported this.

Hi Rosie, yes we are very nervous. Sounds like you were very quickly linked. How did that happen? We were shown a few profiles during assessment but were given very little info as we were not yet approved . Were you approved by an agency that already had lot of the types of children you were looking for on their books?


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69 users have supported this.

It is hard to know if you are ready. I think


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65 users have supported this.

Hi Ziggie, I saw some kids in Be My Parent in August 2013 when we started the assessment and got more info after we were matched. We told the SW that we wanted to find our own matches (that were not necessarily within the LA). They weren't that happy at first but have learnt to accept that we are proactive. I think it's fine if adopters want to see what their LA has for them but equally fine if adopters want to take the driving seat. so, to answer your question - there weren't many children on their books but the children we have been matched with are from a different part of the country.


What about with you? How did you come across your match?


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Hi Rosie, forgot to ask, how old are they?


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64 users have supported this.

Ziggie, they are 5 and 10. We always wanted older children.


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My agency on the surface appear to want to keep you to themselves for 3 months but actually put you on the National Register straight away. Plus they are part of a couple of consortiums and a couple I know were therefore matched incredibly quickly - it can happen!


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73 users have supported this.

Not yet matched. Only shown a few profiles by assessing social worker, but she is an independent social worker so does not really have an overview of children in the team. We went with a local authority that said they had many children that fit the description we were looking for. We also know that there are far more mixed children than there are mixed adopters country wide.


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Rosie , nicely spaced.

Starry, we too are apart of a consortium so should not be an issue.


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66 users have supported this.

Are you going to have a look at CPRs next - of all the profiles or just some of them?


We had a look at about 6 CPRs which helped us develop an understanding of the children. Some CPRs are much more detailed than others. We appreciated that as adopters obviously want as much info at the outset.


It does feel as if things are progressing quickly but we actually started the whole process in June 2013 and so the whole thing has been a while.


Are you and or hubby going to give up work, if you don't mind me asking. I'm still undecided.


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It's my hope that when we meet with family finder this month she will be showing us CPRs. We were only interested in one of the profiles so we would like to see the CPR of that one and any other she has that could be a potential match. The plan is for me to take leave for at least a year. Hubby will take leave for a few weeks.

We went to information sessions in July 2013. It feels like the process has moved quickly so far, considering it takes 9 months to give birth.


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hi everyone, just wondering how you are all getting on... it's gone rather quiet...


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Met with family finder last week. She didn't really have a lot of info. I think she came prepared to discuss two little ones that we heard about during our assessment. However we had already decided that they were too old for us. She did get around to telling us about two more unrelated little ones that may be a better match. So now just waiting to hear more


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Hi guys. We got a yes at panel on Wednesday. We have already seen a fair few profiles and it is quite overwhelming!


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73 users have supported this.

Barbados that's great news


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78 users have supported this.

Hi All - I am black Caribbean and my husband is white British - we were approved at panel last month and desperate to see some more profiles. We already have a birth son so it is very important for us to find a little person who reflects our mix. Sadly, the profiles we have been show to date, have not reflected that and we haven't heard from our LA in a while. It's hard trying to remain positive and wait - but it's difficult!


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We saw absolutely tons of profiles of dual heritage children at a recent exchange day. Does your LA not have many mixed children? There are lots nationally, I have seen many, many profiles since being approved but am with a VA. Are you not allowed to look out of borough yet?


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We have started to look outside of the borough ourselves, our LA appear to be very slow in progressing anything and as yet, we haven't got to the 3 month stage where we can go on the national register. Also, just out of interest, are you supposed to get an officially letter confirming that you have been approved? We were told that we had a unanimous yes on approval day - that was 3 weeks ago - we've not heard anything since.


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Gosh, how annoying! Yes, we got our official ratification letter 9 days after panel and the letter arrived a couple of days later. It seems a bit crazy to me that (as I am told) they are crying out for dual heritage adopters yet you are not being progressed.


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73 users have supported this.

Good news, we received the official letter in the post today - so there's progress for you!


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Hurrah! Now you can go on adoption link and chase your sw to show you profiles. Also there is a National Register Exchange Day in July. Perhaps you could ask about that?


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To 'The Wife' I've been reading the message stream and really agree with 'Barbados Girl' about going on adoption link (which is a great site) and chasing your sw about profiles. Otherwise they will leave you waiting. We've finally found a match but I kept having to phone our sw otherwise nothing would have got done.


Also make sure you get on the adoption register asap and go to an Exchange Day as 'Barbados Girl' suggested. If you need info about any of the above just ask.


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Hi rosyposy - I have since registered with adoption link and have even sent off an enquiry. Alas, we've yet to hear from our sw and I suspected this would happen as our LA appear to be woefully understaffed and I think he focus has now turned to getting other couples to panel for approval. I guess we'll need to be more proactive and chase her. In terms of the adoption panel, I guess we'll have to wait for our 3 month mark post approval to be registered. In terms of the Exchange Day - do you mean the ones organised by BAAF?


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Hi TheWife, don't be worried about chasing. SW are really bad for forgetting about adopters once they've been approved and then moving onto the next batch of prospective adopters.


What might be an idea, which is what I did, was to touch base every two weeks and tell your SW that you are going to be doing that. Even if they can't come out and see you then they can arrange a time when they are free for a phone call.


Yes, with the Exchange Day I meant the one organised by BAAF - have you been to one yet?


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We've not been to an Exchange Day - it's something on our list of things to investigate.


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Hello!

We have just started the process and currently attending workshops this week. We've had our checks and medicals, so am assuming attending the workshops is the final thing to tick off for Stage 1?


Anyway, we are Asian and hoping adopt a child from an Asian background as well. Does anyone have any information/stats about adopting Asian children in the UK? There seems to be a shortage of info on the internet :-(


Thanks so much in advance and any stories/info/advice - anything! - would be welcome :-)


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P.S - I know we're only just in Stage 1 of the process but we're very nervous, anxious and also super excited!


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Hi 'TheDream' I'm Asian (Indian) and don't have any stats. There's aren't many Asian kids available and most tend to be sibling groups of a boy and a girl. They also tend to be in the younger age groups.


I found that for Muslim children in particular there has been a preference for Muslim adopters. We were turned down for a link because I'm not Muslim.


There are more Muslim Pakistani, Bangladeshi and dual heritage (asian and white) children but not many Indian Hindu or Sikh children.


When you get approved you should get 'Children who wait', 'Be My Parent' and definitely go on adoption link which is free.


We've been matched with some Asian children and I found them on the above sites. Let me know if you need any more info.


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Thanks so much rosyposy! We're actually hoping to adopt a sibling group and as young as possible. We expect that muslim children are more likely to be linked to muslim adopters. I'm thankful for this info as it's not anything that surprises us too much and makes me hopeful. We are both Hindu too.

Will try and remember to register on the links you suggest after approval.


Really happy for you about your matches with some asian children! Exciting! What age group are you interested in?


Could you/anyone give me some information about names? I know we are asked not to change a name at all, which we completely respect and understand. But do you know of any circumstances when this has/would happen?


Thanks a million and so happy to have found this forum! xxx


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65 users have supported this.

Thedream, i've private messaged you.


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Hi we are new here me I am white german my husband black Nigeria both leaving in England near Manchester we love to adopt BME anyone know a agency that can help us near Manchester how to start we got one son 11years love to hear from u all thanks x


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25 users have supported this.

Hi we are new here me I am white german my husband black Nigeria both leaving in England near Manchester we love to adopt BME anyone know a agency that can help us near Manchester how to start we got one son 11years love to hear from u all thanks x


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26 users have supported this.

Hi we are new here me I am white german my husband black Nigeria both leaving in England near Manchester we love to adopt BME anyone know a agency that can help us near Manchester how to start we got one son 11years love to hear from u all thanks x


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27 users have supported this.

Hi we are new here me I am white german my husband black Nigeria both leaving in England near Manchester we love to adopt BME anyone know a agency that can help us near Manchester how to start we got one son 11years love to hear from u all thanks x


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Hi, thedream2014 - I am also HIndu, and was approved in December 2015. Most of the children are Muslim heritage. or asian/white.


I nearly got linked with a under 2 year old who is Hindu Sikh, from 30 couples I got down to the top 2, and the SW has decided to interview the other couple first. Unfortunately they are a lot of Hindu couples waiting like me.


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Dear Anita3, Lovely to hear from you and really hope that the SW will interview you both too. Wishing you all the best and try and stay strong and positive. We are hopefully going to be matched with non-hindu siblings, so hoping I can pass on some good news soon. Take care x


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Sorry just realised this was an old thread ! Good luck with the match x


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