I've not been on the boards for quite some time but my last posts were about moving my son into special residential care due to his ongoing difficulties. This was about 2 and a half years ago and it has been quite a positive experience for us - he has responded well to the very boundaried regime he lives in. We had just started to relax and feel hopeful, and started to build up our relationship with him again, and he was coming home regularly to stay for weekends and holidays.
However just before Christmas and over Christmas we noticed a change in his behaviour in that he was becoming very secretive and defensive and we have just found out at the age of 16 he has found his birth family on facebook, made contact with them and actually met up with them (investigations ongoing with his residential placement about how he has managed this).
As we have an unusual surname, birth family have made contact with our daughter and have probably found our address. We are pretty stunned by this and he keeps changing his story - one minute he was just curious and then the next doesn't want anything to do with us now he has found his 'real family'. Meanwhile his sister who is a year older is pretty confused as she wasn't ready to contact them but they are contacting her.
His social worker is on leave until 4th Feb but the residential school have put a hold on him going out independently for now.
But it has really thrown us, we don't know where we are going to go from here, have we lost one or both or our children, are there any legal implications about the fact that this has happened before the age of 18, anyone know any resources to help us get our head round what is happening whilst trying to support our daughter?
Any advice gratefully received,