Birth children considerations for match criteria
Hi we are currently in stage 2 with panel date booked in January. We have a 3 year old birth child. We are likelŷ to foster to adopt but also looking at adoption path too.
Our assessing social worker has set us to work on a number of things to research and discuss between ourselves to help in establishing what, I don't know the right term to use here, criteria/ situation/ background for a prospective match
Two of these things are FSA and a child born as a result of incest.
We have already said that due to minimising risk to our birth daughters wellbeing we do not feel we are able to deal with profound disability.
With regard to FSA we are coming to the conclusion that whilst we would feel able to deal with behavioural problems and learning difficulties associated with this condition, the risk of severe disability concerns us.
With regards incest, part of the question from the social worker Was about talking to the child about this as they get older, in age appropriate ways, which we feel we could do. But research on this shows a high probability of severe disability.
So this is a very long winded way of saying, I think our position is that our answer relates back to our position on profound disability. Therefore I think if we know that the birth parents are alcoholics or have a history of giving birth to children with FSA, we would say no. Equally we would be unable to take a child who was the result of incest.
As we are looking to adopt such a young child, I understand we would not know if conditions will become apparent later on, and if that happens we will handle it as we would if they became apparent in our birth child, but it seems if issues are known and likely then this is the best approach for us.
I know this is a very personal thing, and no one can advise whether we are right or wrong in this approach but I'd be interested in yours perspectives / experiences.
Would we be limiting ourselves to the point of not being likely to find a match? we would still be open to many many other backgrounds and the care and specialist parenting they would require.
Any input or opinions welcome.