From bad to worse
Just a vent as there is nothing we can do about this one but its not the kind of things you talk about down the pub with your mates
On the surface AS (14) looks so good - charming, well liked by peers and teachers and anyone who comes across him, making huge progress in terms of attachment (he has RAD and PTSD) , scholarship to a prestigious private school, ambitions to become an architect, music tuition award .... he is actually turning (overall) into a lovely young man ... however
... back at the beginning of the year he was discovered to have sexually assaulted his sister (with whom he has a nasty trauma bond), CP and police were involved, it was determined that we were putting in enough safeguarding and that he was engaging in therapy, no charges pressed, case closed ....
... except CP determined that, because he was boarding at a co-ed school, school must be told (fair enough). Since then he has been a day student but the coming school year is boarding only and school have said therefore we need to find somewhere else for him.
Although the case is closed, CP have decreed that we must tell his next school - so nowhere wants to take him (even the all-boys schools) . Our local state school HAS to take him, it is a good school but the lack of oversight and structure will increase his risks of assaulting either his sister again or another vulnerable young girl.
What he has done is awful, we live with the consequences every day, we are exhausted and traumatised, but this situation just reduces his risks of rehabilitation and of moving beyond where he is now and the shame and uncertainty are exactly the factors that have been identified as increasing his risk of assaulting his sister again.