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AD (15) behaviour in summer ok and generally calmer. Back at school 2 days...

Tonight a big regressive tantrum, horrible nasty verbal abuse targeted at us, all because we did not buy her the right clothing online. It was a silly argument but got way too heated.

Her GCSE year. She did not get the GCSE she took early last year and one of few who has to resit. Poor thing is frustrated and stressing from seeing peers, and no doubt diificult year of exams and revision.

Looking forward to more stressy outbursts in the next few weeks and months...can't wait for therapy end of the month...

The therapy is AFT and will be start of the next 20 sessions paid for by ASF till March.

AD never really engaged in the last 20 (attended about half and was quite disruptive in a few), but is in the plan to attend but we parents have found it very useful to talk about when issues arise and providing techniques. Therapist has said AD needs to be in plan as it is AFT and sole support to parents is not what ASF paid for or what Barnardos provide.

Would appreciate your comments and advice if AD should attend, especially if she felt forced to go in the last six months (when she did attend) and also considering it is her GCSE year?

Has anyone else been in similar situation and was therapy too much of a distraction?

3 users have supported this.

Hi, 'therapy' in the exam/ college years may be an important back up for when the pressures, stresses, lack of self belief and so not even trying etc kick in. Would you continue with weekly sessions for you and dh and reduce her sessions to once a month? Has she some space to work things through without you present? I'm wondering about her painful feelings of killer shame etc might be making therapy much tougher on her. My son had an appt (yes a single one!) with a CAMHS specialist who gave him tips for feeling 'real' and grounded that helped. The autistic society helped with ideas to reduce exam stress and sports / chiropractor sessions also helped. If you search the board or look at the archive you might get some insight into how things re exam year went for young partridge.

8 users have supported this.


Thank you, once a month sounds good idea. We plan to spread these sessions out as the ASF fund (£5k per family) has been used up till next fiscal year (Apr18 onwards) and it was a battle to get these extra 20, as the Post Adoption SW was not happy the output was kept confidential (fundamental to therapy being successful).

We parents have to be resilient, things often get tougher at end of term, just before holidays. This year will be very tough as AD insecurities and anxieties will be expressed more, but at least it is better than for her to bottle it up and let it eat her up from inside as it has been in the past.

We also have to be mindful of the influences from as peers and how AD may be feeling more she is left behind, seeing others mature and progress. We need to celebrate her achievements...even though she just failed her GCSE, she got it with little effort, which is a positive.

4 users have supported this.

I think its a good idea to continue the therapy if at al possible - and SW is really naïve to say that if AD does not attend it amounts to sole support to parents - anything that helps the parents understand and deal with her more effectively will benefit her - also it provides a good role model for her showing her how much you value the therapeutic process and how valuable and beneficial you feel it can be. Also it shows her your commitment to her and your relationship and what you are prepared to invest in this. It is a valuable resource and worth pursuing and I cannot see it as a distraction to her GCSE studies but a support in helping her deal with her feelings around school and attainment. Also I wonder if she is struggling with GCSEs so much whether this is the right course for her? Maybe something else instead or as well which can give her more experience of success. Schools do get obsessed with the 5 A-Cs and so kids can feel a failure even if they get GCSEs if they do not match the school's targets and particularly if they are prone to feelings of failure or inadequacy and it can drive them to fail even if capable of achieving. Is she getting any academic help or social / emotional help she needs from school? Try and relax about the GCSEs - they are not that important in the grand scheme of things - there are many routes to success in life - and her mental health is far more important

5 users have supported this.