Adoption Stats – my family’s reality

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Ok so I know this is a small sample size but I was reflecting on the experiences and outcomes of all the adoptions that have occurred in my close family. Just a small sample I know but it makes for some interesting reading…

We have three adopted children (now adults or nearly adults) in our close family placed within 2 different family units.

AS1 – placed as a baby at a few weeks old. Was rebellious, often got into fights and found school difficult (permanently excluded once), intelligent but hated to be told what to do (still does!). Did run away from home in late teens and had no contact with family for a few years but returned to the fold, now very close to parents, happily married (fairly late in life), got a good career and has step-children who they adore.

AS2 – placed in same family as AS1 again as baby at a few weeks old. By early teens was experimenting with hard drugs. Stole, cheated, did anything for cash and caused untold misery to his family for a number of years. Sadly died in early 20’s due to drug-related damage to their health.

AS3 – placed in different family from above as older child, things went ok until teens, experimented with drugs, stole, lied, violent episodes, heavy drinking. Now moving into late teens and showing some signs of maturing. Not sure where this will go……

So there you go, makes stark reading but we are hoping for 2/3 successes! Clearly not one has been plain sailing.

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Thank you for sharing....glad to hear about the successes (and sorry for your loss too).

We are not quite as far along as you, but also adopted three - a sibling group (now 13, 15 and 17). Sadly eldest and youngest returned to care in their early teens and we have a rollercoaster relationship with them and they are making some difficult choices. Middly is doing OK - mostly good choices but some struggles still...

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Interesting post. We adopted 2 sibling groups of 2 . All school aged

1 has also been very challenging .how far it was the early life experiences of neglect and abuse or his moderate learning difficulties and ADHD since leaving home at 18 he has lived in a variety of supported housing /prison/with friends and hostels. He surprised every one by learning to read. So can now text asking for money as he does regularly! His support workers like him at times he engages with them we see him for meals or bowling about every three weeks

No 2 left home mid teens lived in a unit for vulnerable young adults . Then with a girlfriend . Split up but now managing a tenancy for 3 years. Lives with a girlfriend sees us about once a month

No 3 left school did an apprenticeship worked moved to the other side of the world .moved back to live near birth family (100miles away) came back then moved back again . He prefers the countryside and lives near both my in laws and some of his birth famiky works rents and has some friends . Texts most days but needs a lot more emotional support than many of his age

No 4 went to uni works for a charity.has represented the UK in disability sport. Done the marathan twice. Met 2 prime minister's been on the radio etc

So each one is different our lives have had many challenges. 2 are doing well 1 needs a lot of support but is getting there and 1 is extremely vulnerable but many id his challenges come from his level of learning disability plus his refusal to accept authority !

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