Adoption & energy levels
My husband and I are thinking about adoption - we don't have any children at the moment, but we would like to give a home to a child that needs one.
However I have palindromic arthritis, a form of rheumatoid arthritis that involves 'attacks' out of nowhere which typically last for a few weeks. These attacks cause joint pain, which is manageable and I take medication, but the thing I am most worried about is the fatigue / lack of energy which comes with it.
The attacks are variable, I can go for months without one and then have two in the space of a few months. I am able to work (I've never had to have extended time off, just a couple of days here and there) and live a 'normal' life most of the time, but during a bad phase I need to rest more and I can sometimes get irritable if I don't get the rest I need. My employer, friends, family etc are very understanding and support me to manage my time so that I can keep myself well, but children are obviously a 24/7 commitment and an adopted child in particular is likely to have additional needs that will take even more time and energy.
I am worried about the impact this could have on an adopted child, particularly that they might feel rejected if I needed to have a nap (obviously I'd make sure my OH was there to look after the child). I have this fear that they might get the idea that I don't want to be around them, and this could cause issues if they have experienced neglect in the past. Maybe I am overthinking it, but I have done a lot of research and I've read that bonding is a huge issue for adoptive children.
I am also less patient when I am tired - like most people! - and I know that being an adoptive parent needs a lot of patience.
Obviously my husband will be there in the evenings and we would share parenting duties, but if we do adopt I would want to take at least six months off work to help the child settle in (and probably have a phased return after that), which would mean I would be on my own with the child for most of the day.
I know that there are adopters with disabilities who must deal with energy issues and chronic fatigue etc, so how do you manage? Am I cut out for adoption, or would I end up doing more harm than good?