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Adopting with health issues and dogs

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Hi I'm currently being assessed in the hope I can adopt my cousins 3 month old baby. I have arthritis which I take medication for so it's managed but I'm scared that in paper it will sound worse than what it is. I'm 32 years old and I have a pair of crutches to use as and when I need and there are plans to change my bathroom into a shower room as I find it difficult sometimes to get Ina d out of my bath. My otbdtwirry is that I have dogs. I have a newfoundland and a newfoundland cross and a cocker spaniel x. This adoption is really important to me and I'm terrified there will be some reason I'm not suitable please can I ask if any of you have had a similar set up and still been able to Fopt x


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Sorry about typing errors it's. dry late. I have a nice sized house and I have three children 7, 12 and 14


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Try not to worry too much. SW have to exhaust all possibility of placing a child with relatives before they look at placing a child elsewhere, so if it's practical , and they feel you will be able to cope, then you are likely to be viewed positively. There are adopters who are wheelchair users , so limited mobility in itself is not a barrier to adoption.

The assessment process will be seeking to find out how you would cope with this little one, how you would manage to look after this child and how you would meet his / her needs, and that you are not taking on too much , as you have three other kids. If your mobility was the same when your kids were babies think how you managed eg bathing them, lively toddler into everything, etc. and let SW know how you coped ( and still do ! ) And how you would practically manage having four inc baby to care for and organise each day. Also, look into the effects of care process and FC/ adoption on kids ( attachment and other issues they might face eg school struggles) it is often much harder than looking after a birth child, who has always known stability with birth mum, so do some research so SW can see you are thinking about these things.

Best Wshes

Pingu

Dogs are not a problem, though you do need to stress that if they were to become an issue, you would put the child before dog ownership. And keep the dogs under good control/ maybe another room on SW visits, at least till you know you have a SW who isn't scared of dogs !


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Without knowing the baby's background, and you may already have considered this, be prepared for this baby not being like your birth babies. Assuming the baby was removed rather than relinquished then s/he may well not be as straightforward as yours were. Do you know the history, what pregnancy was like etc?


Re the dogs. Yes they may be an issue. Two - although probably very gentle - are big dogs and not all sws like dogs. Have a plan. Be flexible. Your dogs are clearly used to children- how are they with small babies, toddlers? Also be prepared for this baby not liking the dogs, being jealous of them and mean to them. Consider options - sws will expect you to be able to prioritise the needs of the baby over your desire to keep the dogs. Do they have their own space in the house and garden?


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my kids have grown up with my dogs we already have gates in most rooms and bolts on door so that anytime my dogs can be sectioned off away (if we have non dog loving visitors eh) also have very large garden where they spend most of the time unless it's raining. Dogs aren't allowed upstairs and never once has their been an incident regarding kids vs dogs. I worked at a dog rescue and trained dogs. The dogs are very well trained. And my kids well educated. The dogs have a child free zone (kitchen). However when we have new visitors two of the dogs get excited and one of them growls and barks. I have discussed my situation with a family member who has agreed to take on any of the dogs at a moments notice if a problem arose. I have a dog walker who takes them off for miles few times a week so spend most of the time asleep. I'm just worried she'll judge them based on how they are when she first comes in. I will be putting them in the garden why she visits xxthanks for all your advice it's put my mind at ease. This adoption is a sudden thing due to circumstances of a family member. They want to keep this baby in the family if they can so I really hope I can help. I'm the last option before going into care x it's very sad and very delicate situation


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Mum smoked during pregnancy but nothing else as far as I'm aware. Healthy birth weight. He looks a nice weight from pictures. No health issues as far as I'm aware. Final court day is October where social services present any assessments etc they've made. I'm not sure yet if I will be bringing him home after court date or whether he comes to me temp until final decision. Mother is under mental health.


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Not wanting to put you off, but think very carefully. I understand you want to keep this child in the family but if bm does have mental health issues then this may well impact on the child. Trauma doesn't start at birth - it starts in utero.


Also, how likely is it that bm smoked without, at the very least, drinking? My daughter's bm smoked throughout pregnancy. That's all she admitted to. However even her paed thinks it highly unlikely that she was only smoking and not drinking. Alcohol can have a profound effect and if the babe is affected then life will be tricky. What do you know about birth father?


Why adoption? Is there no possibility of this lo going back to bm ever?


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Hi. I don't think the dogs or arthritis are problems necessarily but you'll need to be able to answer questions about managing these with a testing family situation. I have animals and ongoing medical things and adoption & tbh just everyday parenting puts a lot on you. You will need good support. Adoption is not like having a birth child Donatella is right. Things aren't straight forward even in babies


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hi guys thankyou so much for your feedback. Sw came for a 3 and a half hour meeting at my home. I answered all her questions, I showed her my home I showed her my dogs and a video of my child with the dogs and pictures of my child with them when she was a baby also. The BF has criminal history and drug use. BM has been in a unit where only smoking is allowed so they know no alcohol was used in pregnancy. BM's mental health is due to trauma in childhood. next step is emergency court hearing to decide whether baby stays with mum in unit until final court hearing in November time where my application for guardianship is presented to judge and decided or goes in to temporary foster care until that point. The next decision will be from sw's to decide if I should be that foster carer. She said she feels I'm in with a good chance but the decision is completely down to the judge at the time. so he could be with me as soon as next week, as late as after Christmas or not at all. I feel less anxious now the initial meeting is done but its still a horrible wait. A relative has concerns that there could be back lashes from B.GP's as its something within the family. have any of you experienced fostering or adopting a family member? if you don't mind sharing id really value your experiences and advice. Me personally am happy that no matter what my children and the baby will be kept safe. the concern from my relative is that B.GM is my aunt and my mums sister and that angry GM will show aggression towards my mother. Any of you faced something similar or what would you advise? a lot of people face something like this maybe as a couple but its just me and I don't have anyone to share my journey with xxx thanks again x


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