Adopted son in police custody with girlfriend - a new experience for me

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Should I be doing something? I can't get anyone to talk to me. Both supposed adults - but as we all know they aren't really.

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Does he have a mental health difficulty? Should you be asking for him to have a responsible adult with him before being interviewed? You could try phoning 101 and following the links to the custody suite in your area as they may be able to update you and possibly get a message through to him? Can you find out who the duty solicitor is and try to make contact with them? If he goes into custody, perhaps try the chaplaincy department at the prison? There is also a "safer custody" team who you may want to advise of your son's presence if he ends up in prison ...... If he's appearing in court in the morning, perhaps contact the magistrate's court first thing so that you know which court he's appearing in............

If he is in custody for an offence against yourself, then it may be more difficult to follow these routes but worth a try?

Finally be kind to yourself; try to watch something/read something to distract yourself from this awful situation, easier said than done, I know!

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Dear Evelyn

I found out my son was in custody via a friend telling my AD. Like you I started phoning around getting nowhere, eventually I rang the police headquarters and told them AS has serious mental health problems and I needed to know were he was being held. They then gave me the station he was held at which was not local. I rang there and was told as he was an adult(18) they would not give me any info. The officer I spoke to was very unhelpful and virtually put the phone down on me.

I waited a while trying to keep calm and deal with the upset I felt and the worries I had over my AS. After about an hour I rang again and spoke to a different person.

I said I just wanted to know my AS was ok. I was told he was and that he would be appearing in court the next morning. I explained again about the mental health problems and asked could I speak to him. I was told no so I said that if my AS did anything to himself whilst in custody I would hold them responsible. Three hours later the police rang saying AS wanted to speak to me!

I hope you get someone to hear you also at court you can ask to speak to their solicitor. If you do go to the court just speak to the usher and they will inform the solicitor who will then contact you.

Hope all works out, its horrible not what any of us want for our AC.

Take carexx

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Hello and welcome to the custody suite club :)

I have requested my ad be taken to a 136 suite as her mental health required assessment. I would not recommend being the adult who is their support as their shAme and attachment issues will shine through.

The police will want to see respect for you their mum and that is unlikely to be flowing following arrest....

The station will have a duty solicitor

They will not tell you anything, but should be polite. One treated us like poo as we had such a wayward child... She was s20 in a therapeutic unit....

But you can give them the bullet points of their vulnerability & any mental health issues / trauma related problems. Suggest you get something like this up together for next time

Often they are in the police station several hours and then they have to go back there to be questioned again

Following that they may go to court- the youth offending court is the one I know most about

The but they may also have a warning or a caution

These are recorded and they may need help understanding they haven't got off - they will have to face a greater punishment if/ when they get into trouble again

The youth court, they were very kind to us on the day of trial

The court outside space is very stressful I found with a fight and several really very socially troubled families. The lawyers and YOT team compiled a good report with our help- took on board what we'd said

As a result the judge ordered a tagging order instead of the expected custodial. We had a lot of long waits outside.

Blossom liked her tag. It kept her from doing awful things and she was safe.

The only time I went with partridge it was after a serious false accusation by blossom re drugs that was a total lie. He was bricking it. Was trembling poor lad.

Thankfully came to nothing


Seriously- you MUST take enormous care of yourselves- it's horrible nasty gritty and nothing we ever thought we'd have to do. I've decided I'm not cut out for the 100mph dark courts, police etc world- I need time out after thAt or I get ill. Take time out. Do an art class, take up Japanese, learn drums whatever but DO it Nd watch your mental health too

Hope that things settle again

Thinking of you

Pear tree

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