2 year old grandson
I haven't been around for awhile so delighted to come back today to find a dedicated grandparents board!
My 20 year old dd has 2 children - a 2 year old and a 9 week old. They all live with me along with 9 week olds dad. My dd is challenging! Her behaviour is erratic and she is hard to live with (though can be lovely too). She didn't cope when first was born and SS became involved and strongly encouraged me to apply for special guardianship - I agreed to a Child Arrangement Order which gives me residency but less permanent than SG. He is on a 'Child in Need' plan. Littly is on Child Protection as I have refused to take on her (financial implications make this impossible - full time childcare costs for #1 while I work as a teacher have crippled me, I have no resources to do it for #2 as well). Anyway # 2 is a whole other story for another time, I want to talk about gorgeous grandson aged just 2 (last week).
I feel certain that he's with me for the long haul. I have pretty much been his main career since he arrived in this world and his primary attachment is definitely to me. Dd had a great pregnancy with him - no alcohol, no drugs, minimal cigarettes and gave up by 20 weeks, dosed up with maximum strength pregnacare and 9 months in bed watching crap TV! DGS arrived placid and good natured, sleeping through the night by 9 weeks. Having no experience of parenting babies, I switched my allegiance from this forum to mumsnet! Terrified he might end up with behaviour issues like his mum, I googled extensively looking for red flags...and found none and in fact noticed that he appeared to be meeting his milestones early. He started going to a childminder aged 4 months and now does 3 days at a childminder and 2 at nursery. He has been talking in complete sentences from about 20 months and is still a pretty chilled although determined little chap - he doesn't have extreme temper tantrums. His nursery reports that he is advanced in all areas including social skills - probably because he's been socialised from very young. Clearly I'm delighted and have worked very hard at parenting him to promote a positive attachment, but still in the back of my mind I'm concerned that he might end up with severe behaviour problems like his mum... he does here her kicking off from time to time but try and protect him from as much as I can. I don't think I have the energy to parent another very difficult child through my 50s and 60s. I suppose I'm just looking for some reassurance that if he was likely to develop severe behaviour issues, there would be some indicators already. What do you think?