Adopting two boys
Published: Thursday, August 15, 2013
I had always wanted to be a Mum, but in my mind that didn't need to involve being pregnant and giving birth.
My husband wanted three children, but we were matched with a sibling group of two boys aged five months and 17 months. We were in our early thirties when the boys were placed with us ten years ago.
Our eldest boy had been taken into care when he was around nine months old. There were concerns about his birth parents' ability to meet his needs. He was placed with a foster family and had weekly supervised contact visits with his birth parents. When his little brother was born he was taken directly from the maternity hospital to the foster family. We adopted them together five months later.
There was some concern that the boys may have educational problems. Both birth parents had varying degrees of learning difficulties.
We attended regular checkups, but I found these upsetting, as nothing was certain and the doctor seemed a little negative.
I felt that what would be would be and we would deal with it as required. I didn't need some doctor telling me that my children may or may not have something wrong with them. We just got on with life and so did the boys. They love school and are progressing well in all subjects.
As for the future, who knows? We talk to the boys about adoption, although it doesn't mean anything to them yet.
We have letterbox contact with their birth mother (she sends them birthday cards and I send her a letter once a year to let her know how they are getting on). She has separated from their birth father and he now has a son with his new partner so in time we will need to let the boys know that they have a half brother.
But we'll take it as it comes.
As we have with everything to do with adoption. If you try to do it any other way you'll just drive yourself crazy!