Feb 19 2013 2:27PM
We had been 'on hold' because of some family issues, so although we were approved a month ago for our two future little ones (siblings under 4 years old), we have been really having to be patient.
We have now confirmed that we're ready to come off hold, and that's brought a wave of excitement and reality.
How do you combine the 'eeek, this is coming and it could be soon' with 'now, now, calm down it could be ages yet'. We can do the painting and making sure the garden fence is secure, but we can't do buying anything significant like beds or cots, because we don't know whether we want beds or cots! (feels strange talking about it in such definite terms!)
Planning to ensure you're ready, and getting excited but trying to manage your expectations is certainly a good title for an adoption UK training course I reckon!
I'm also noticing the excitement becoming much more real in the extended family. They are starting to talk about it much more - many people warned me that their reaction might not be as strong as mine - but certainly seeing more of it now. Its interesting the difference in different people though. One granny is jumping up and down and making toy boxes, one quietly calm, one prospective auntie is talking about how she can come and babysit, another is worried about how to explain it to her own children. Interesting that there seems to be either an acceptance (which is preferable from my point of view), or an apprehension.....what will we call them? What will we know about their background? What if the children ask questions? Won't people who've grown up with you work out that you've adopted, why the big secret?
The fact is that it isn't a big secret, its a big deal, but it isn't a secret, to call it that is to give it more mystery than we intend. But it is news that we want to give in our own time - we haven't found out about our children yet - we want them to decide about who knows that they came to us in this wonderful but less usual way (as far as we can). So it intrigues me that it is so difficult to just tell people that we'll have 2 children at some point this year. Of course I'm not pregnant and they're going to arrive too big for a Moses basket, but I've got to confess that I'm a little weary of the 'tiptoeing' style of questioning.
People don't 'need to know' - people will find out we have children, many of them won't even notice we didn't before. If they aren't close friends, then they're likely to be people we only start to interact with because we become parents! I'm quite happy with telling people one at a time, when the moment feels right - and not doing some great big campaign on facebook and posters around the village I grew up in!
I'm also starting to get my head around the whole stopping work thing. I've had a career for 20 years, and every day I've got up to go to work. I'm so excited at the thought of such a big change - although its quite difficult to keep your motivation up when you keep thinking 'might not be here for that big project'.
The idea that this time in a few months, I might be sitting on the floor playing with building blocks or something - rather than sitting at my desk pretending to be working and writing this blog, is still hard to believe!
Ultimately I can't wait (although obviously I will have to!) And I console myself with the fact that, the longer it takes the more dinners out, diy tasks, live music and lazy sundays' we'll have under our belts.