Dec 27 2012 11:24PM
Some progress, but overall a situation spiralling out of control?
A month on my own and I am starting to feel like my old self again, no better than that I feel my confidence rising and a real sense of hope for the future emerging.
Dh is starting to show the signs of strain having had to live full time with Db.
Thankfully we are no longer being ignored and work is being undertaken at a furious and impressive speed to assess Db’s SEN – quite right too! He is attending a special school and seems to be working hard, even showing signs of enthusiasm, which is really refreshing. Thankfully his behavioural difficulties are also clear to see, and we are impressed by the team involved in assessing Db’s needs and the understanding they are illustrating when discussing the situation with us.
Db seems very pleased to see me when I arrive, but overall the same patterns emerge and if things do not go his way we are all made to suffer. After just over a week I have lost all the advantage of my month apart and I am once again an emotional wreck.
I know I cannot live with Db, I stayed longer then I intended to in order to attend an important meeting. I am quite surprised at how quickly I have gone downhill but at least I know this is what will happen if I try.
So I have no home and no idea when Db will be placed in an appropriate school. I simply have to find somewhere to go while we wait.Thank goodness for close family and friends.
I thought it would be okay to spend Christmas with Dh and Db – four days, so not too long, and it is a time when it is difficult to be anywhere else. I had promised Dh I would be there, where else would I rather be?
Sadly and for whatever reason it all ends in tears! It proves all too much for Db to have me there and in his frustration he lashes out kicking me, punching me and bashing me with whatever he finds close at hand. The attack stops as abruptly as it started, and we remain as calm as we can to keep things from escalating out of control. We are masters at calm.
Not calm enough and later that day I find myself the target of another attack, this time prevented by Dh restraining Db. We call emergency social services thinking they might help, but this proved ineffective, we are left to our own devices, and have to simply keep coping, presumably until he really hurts me, maybe then we will be heard?
How can this be okay?
It is now my understanding that Db will not be taken into care if he is a threat to us, but only if he is considered to be at risk or under threat from us.
So there is no comfort or support for me, Dh is too busy dealing with Db’s needs. I leave.
How can this be okay?