Child appreciation days (7 October 2011)

Child appreciation days can offer prospective adopters a unique insight into a child’s history by giving them access to those people who have been closest to them as the child has been growing up.

The Good Practice Guide published by BAAF looks at how they are run, gives advice, plus the benefits of holding them. The full article is in the October issue of Adoption Today, which is available to members of Adoption UK.

Sally and her husband, Phil, adopted two brothers five years ago. Yet throughout that time, they have had significant problems accessing their sons’ files to find out more about their backgrounds.

After a lengthy legal battle, they were given access to edited information which revealed that their eldest son had a history of self-harming and lying.

Sally believes this information could have been crucial when dealing with a child protection investigation after he had made allegations against the family.

“I believe if we had been to a life appreciation day we could have accessed so much more information about our boys. Information that was uncensored from other parties - that was freely and openly given - the good and the bad.

“My regret is, as the boys get older and ask more personal questions, I have no answers for them, yet I know that the answers are there but have been withheld. Answers to favourite colours, foods and to other special events, that others have knowledge of but have not been allowed to share.

“Yes, I'm looking at this with hindsight, but I also remember at the time of bringing the boys home, the lack of support from the local authority and the lack of joy or celebration around the boys.”

Rachel and her partner did attend a child appreciation day and recalls the event as a valuable one.

“Those who did make it included previous and current foster carers, and workers from a sheltered housing project who were also able to tell us a bit about birth dad as they had met him. The whole day made the children more real to us, and helped us with life story work.

“One of the things we really treasure is a letter from a foster carer, who was unable to attend on the day. She had cared for them for two days respite and she wrote a fabulous letter. As an adopter herself she obviously realised how important this was.”

The new guide entitled Child Appreciation Days. Good Practice Guide by Andy Sayers and Roanna Roach, which is published by BAAF, describes how and why child appreciation days are used by local authorities.

Latest figures show that while they are growing in popularity and were used by around 55 per cent of agencies, it was only usually organised for older children or those with complex backgrounds.

BAAF’s guide takes as its starting point work by Argent and Coleman on disruption contained in their book Dealing with Disruption (2006) which shows that the most common cause of disruption as ‘incomplete or unshared information and inaccurate assessments of children’s attachment patterns.’

The new guide says: “A Child Appreciation Day places the onus on providing adopters and carers with an invaluable opportunity to hear information and direct emotional experience within a factual context; the messages the child has received and gives and how individuals feel and experience the child. A multi-faceted view of the child is obtained through this process.”